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Good reason

  • wannago
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24 Mar 08 #17560 by wannago
Topic started by wannago

Is not loving your wife enough reason/legally to divorce? This has been the case over the past year or so but I think I made my mind up last night as I overheard her talking to a female friend on the phone about a guy she fancy's (won't go into detail) and I can probably guarantee the guy got on the phone to my wife (my wife's friend was in the pub/rest at the time he was there). I burst into the room my wife was in as I couldn't take any more, and obviously my wife is denying everything she said and saying also she can't remember what she said as she had a lot to drink. During the course of today her memory has kinda come back but she is still insistant she didn't talk to a guy or about a guy on the phone!

I have made my mind up but just need some advice.

Married forn twenty years this year
Daughter 21 and son to be 18 in June

Many thanks

  • Ephelia
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25 Mar 08 #17586 by Ephelia
Reply from Ephelia
I assume you've told your wife how you feel? Have you talked through with her about what's led you both to this point? Did you love her in the past? Does she still love you? Are you sure your relationship can't be revived now the children are going to be leaving home giving you both more 'couple' time?

Sorry, if I'm asking you things you've already thought through carefully yourself, it's just that divorce isn't fun (vast understatement) and getting through the process is much 'easier' if you've at least both explored together what is happening and why. If you just up and leave your wife with no calm explanation and no attempt to put things right then she'll (quite reasonably) feel upset and aggrieved and will feel like being a lot less co-operative over sorting out practical matters than she might if she felt part of the process, rather than being someone having to deal with the results of your (possibly totally unexpected) unilateral decision.

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