Prat of a STBX

This weekend both of our kids were at home, son from uni daughter on college holidays.

Arranged to see Dad at Rugby for what should have been a great day out and time spent together for them.

He had to ruin it all though didn''t he. They came home and seemed ok, daughter went to bathroom and when she came down her eyes were red. I asked if she had been crying and she said stbx had been having a go at her about where we walk the dogs and that they need a variety of different walks (this from someone who took them on the same walk every day until he left). She told him she was fed up with everything and he told her she had to see things from his point of view to which she replied " No i don''t if you were as unhappy as you say for years you should have left not had an affair behind all our backs and then go". His reply eas he couldn''t afford to, funny then when the skank came on the scene it was a different matter.
To top it off he then started on son about how much of a split he thought he should get when the house is sold,selling the house is news to me as we agreed not to sell until kids had both finished uni. My daughter was in tears again asking where she would go during holidays as I only have the need for a one bedroom house as obviously grown up kids should be thrown out when they are eighteen to fend for themselves.
He embarresed my son who''s girlfriend went with them and left because she didn''t want to listen to him ranting.
The reult of it all was my daughter went out that night with friends, came home drunk and was ill all night crying she was sorry and she didn''t want me to be angry with her, while he slept the booze off without a care in the worlsd I guess.
I was in two minds to text him and let him know what he had done but she was upset it might cause more trouble for me so I agreed not to.

I have enough on my plate at the moment losing my job at the end of April and although I will get my pension it is only 580 a month hardly a fortune and he is expecting a big cut of the house by the looks of it and not to pay me anything in spousal maintenance.

We have not even started divorce proceedings yet. Haway once said to admit I hated him which I didn''t think I did but now I am statring to.
I wish he would fall off the face of the earth.

Sorry for the rant.

Sorry for the rant? Why? You need to get this stuff out of your system and you can''t vent on anyone else so use us instead.

At least you know that his attempts to get them on his side have just shown him up for the w*nker he is.

Stay strong. ((()))

(((Julie321)))

Rant away! That''s what wiki is for!!!

Why do they do it? Why do they insist on carrying on hurting people? I had the same this weekend..again..

My son and I have more rows and upset over ex and I have had enough.

I have come to the conclusion it is best to ignore ex (if only..) and just be there to support my son. Your children are older and still getting angry, it''s not fair, but at least they are "adults" and can speak up for themselves. My son is 12 and is scared to tell his dad how he feels and what he wants cos he knows ex will go off on one.

Try and keep smiling, even if through gritted teeth!!

xx

(((((Julie)))))
What a selfish man, irresponsible father and what pixy called him above!

You are everything to your children and will go on doing the best for them whilst he on the other hand is behaving like a spoilt brat and expecting sympathy from his children for his teenage behaviour. It''s a bizarre role reversal when the children are wiser than their Dad.

Sorry about the redundancy on top of all this. Try to concentrate on finding out about any entitlements to boost your pension, including the possibility of SM depending on the difference in incomes, etc. That will give him something to think about!

Rant on. We''re here to listen. It''s what we do well.

Oh how horrible for all of you. I think one of the worst bits about all this is watching our children deal with the pain, turmoil and confusion thrust upon them by these very selfish people and feeling that we have not been clever enough to equip ourselves with the ''sticking plasters and calpol'' to make it better. Why is it that the ex''s cause the harm and we feel inadequate because our children are hurting (to say nothing of ourselves.)

As Perrin said, please rant - it is what wiki is for (among other things) and it makes us all feel we are not alone.

I''m just sending hugs.

Take care
sc

Thanks to everyone.

Another thing is my son is now saying he is thinking of not asking dad to his graduation as he doesn''t want me to have to deal with him. I have said no problem with him being there as I don''t have to sit near him I have alrady checked this with Uni.

Sorry you are going through this, and he is talking to the kids about the divorce, but maybe he thinks you are and he just wants to be heard? My STBX claims she doesnt say anything to my kids but I know that to be untrue. She also refuses me access. I went over there this weekend to pick up some paperwork and she wouldnt allow me to say hello to the children. Meanwhile she is telling everyone how horrid I am for not being a good father.

Divorce is a messy thing, but kids will always side with the parent they think are wronged.

Can you not try and have a civil relationship with your ex for your kids sake?

I have tried with mine but she just wants my money, and my left ball - some people are just incapable of being rational. Good luck.