I have read up on narcissim and my x meets all the traits. Has anyone been involved with one and even now he is controlling my youngest son and giving me spreadsheets of when i can see him which revolves round his work and social life. Even in the divorce petition he stated that a should find a job with better pay to support myself and the boys. I,m a carer for the elderley and love my job but the pay isn,t good. Due to his work i have been a part time worker working round my family.
Fairly common for us to realise that someone who once said their priority was us & the children is now showing their true colours!
Not uncommon either when we refuse to "own"all their rubbish and find the courage to disengage that their behaviour gets worse.
I am astounded by the amount of so called friends who choose to believe his lies and take sides without ever once giving me the opportunity to furnish them with the facts!!
My stbx too is saying I should go out & earn, which I am happy to do when I am able, in the meantime, he holds the purse strings and controls everything, whilst I take care of the children, and the FMH, until final hearing.
He is enjoying a very expensive lifestyle and his bachelorhood!
I''m just keeping my side of the street clean.
Have a look online at Living with the Dominator, by Pat Craven, I''m sure you''ll find your familiar with all the traits.
Good luck, take care of yourself, and don''t let him get you down
My ex is a narcissist - and still is. He has not control over me or our girls at all, which makes him, like all narcissists worse. One of my daughters met him last week for the first time in nearly two years. He told her I had been sending his g/f texts (I do not possess a mobile phone and havent for over a year) and even if I did have one I have neither his or his g/f''s phone number and wouldn''t want to contact either anyway!
He also said I was stalking him in a black mercedes with my boyfriend. Hahahahaha, I don''t have a boyfriend and know no one in the world who has a black mercedes! I drive a white mini. The man is dillusional, but at least me and the girls had a laugh about it.
I think what happens with narcissists is that once they were the centre of our world and now the are not, but cannot believe we do not want them in our world anymore so invent stuff up to make them feel we are bothered!
must admit, I had suspicions myself that my ex was a narcissist. In fact, it was reading an article about sociopaths (another possibility) that led me to Wiki (thank God). In fact, I think that it''s difficult to tell, particularly with adulterers as they all seem to follow a similar path.
I too have read the traits of a narcissist and yep my ex passed with flying colours!!!
I had to laugh gailuk at your ex''s spreadsheet!! My ex likes to be in control and fits son in where and when in his new lifestyle. Funniest thing is, his gf is definitely a narcissist so good luck to them.. Ha Ha.... His gf makes stuff up and I just laugh, she told me the other week she was pregnant with his child, till I told her I was surprised as we had been to IVF as ex was the problem!! Then she said "It''s a lie, I''m not!!"