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If love is like a butterfly...

  • samchik1
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10 Apr 12 #322922 by samchik1
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I once read a philosopher''s (I think it was Nietzsche''s) account of love. He likened it to a butterfly that settles where it wants to...only to fly off at will, landing somewhere else. His point was that this notion of love is an involuntary thing...I don''t "control" it in the sense that I can''t CHOOSE to fall in love with someone and I can''t STOP myself falling out of love with them. It''s involuntary and enigmatic. If this is true...then PROMISING to love someone for life (as in marriage vows) is completely flawed and what it really means is "I love you now and hope that I will continue to do so forever...but when and if I don''t love you any longer I''ll still be with you pretending that I do...I at least make that commitment." But most people can''t do that...so what is marriage huh? I know...mindf&£ck aren''t I...

  • MrsMathsisfun
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10 Apr 12 #322927 by MrsMathsisfun
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I think your just trying to come to terms with what''s happening to you.

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10 Apr 12 #322931 by Mitchum
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Of course this situation makes us seriously question the nature of what we call romantic love and the marriage act we submitted to when we wished to formalise that love.

Because our beliefs have been shaken to their core we begin doubt the value of absolutely everything, including ourselves.

Trust takes time to build up but is shattered in a second. When you''ve been lied to and cheated on and all the trust is gone, the love in your heart is getting ready to follow.

Your love and trust are shattered right now. Don''t try to pick up the crystal shards of a love that''s broken, they will cut you to ribbons.

Thinking of you. x

  • Shoegirl
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10 Apr 12 #322932 by Shoegirl
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Jaymdee is right you are just trying to make sense of it all. I personally think love is a decision not a feeling. Peck writes extensively on this subject in the road less travelled. We all find our own truth on this journey I guess.

Take care

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10 Apr 12 #322940 by lovestinks
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I agree with Shoegirl on this one.

I think love doesn''t last - not the romantic, pulse racing bit - ever. But to stay after that fades and build something permanent and lasting is a choice that takes hard work and commitment. And a reasonably positive outlook. Maybe love is a butterfly. But the choice to always follow that impulse is entirely ours, I think.

I hope you get things figured out for yourself, Samchik. I am truly sorry you find yourself in this place.

LS xx

  • Lostboy67
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10 Apr 12 #322952 by Lostboy67
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Well think of love as a blue-bottle fly, and you are a sandwich, it lands on you having stomped in sh!t, then pukes on you disolves part of you, sucks you dry and then fecks off again....

My philosophy Phd didn''t go too well :-)


LB

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11 Apr 12 #322962 by JayneEyre
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Lostboy67 wrote:

Well think of love as a blue-bottle fly, and you are a sandwich, it lands on you having stomped in sh!t, then pukes on you disolves part of you, sucks you dry and then fecks off again....

My philosophy Phd didn''t go too well :-)


LB


I think LB that the time may now have come for you to reconsider your post as Chief Editor at Mills & Boon :S

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