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Hi Sam. I can see you doing some serious heart searching and I can understand why. You feel a failure. And I know this feeling all too well. But I want to tell you a few things. You may not listen. But hey.

Firstly. Dont change what you are. The things you wished for and wanted is what a lot of people want. And these are all admiral things. And many women would love to be treated this way. So dont be put off that yr ex didnt. Not all women are the same. Yr wife wasnt what you thought her to be. Thats all.

Your a nice guy. I can see that in what you write. And you may wish you wasnt. But I can tell you that bad things happen to bad guys. Keep being a nice guy. Nice guys get all the nice ladies. No decent lady wants a bad guy. If you treat a nice lady well, you get nice back. In spades. Yr ex isnt worthy of you. She failed you. Not the other way round.

Yr not a failure and you have not failed anyone. It just didnt work out thats all. And not everything does work out. No matter what you do or how hard you try.

You hate the idea that she is doing what you think she is doing. And I know that this tears you up inside. I cant give you and antidote for this.

The reason she is saying these nice things to you is she probably hates herself for doing these things to you. And she probably thinks your a nice guy and hates hurting you. But she has to do what she has todo. But the upshot of her saying these things to you messes with yr head and confuses you. So what may be a good idea is ask her to stop messing with you and jerking yr life around.

I know you must think that you should have done this or that. But you couldnt have. You are you. And you react in a certain way and do things in a certain way. Just cos those things were not right with yr ex does not mean that they will not work with someone else. Yr ex is the person she is and you are what you are. Thats it. Its just you need to meet someone that is more right for you. Thats all. She wasnt right for you and thats why you are here right now.

This is just a blip in yr long life. You will be over this or past it in a year or so. And you will then look back and realise that this was meant to be. Ok, its gona be a tough time. But you will learn loads and it will make you appreciate life more. And that has to be a good thing. C.