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Today is my birthday

  • Sunshine10
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05 May 12 #328563 by Sunshine10
Topic started by Sunshine10
Day 5 of no contact and today is my birthday. The first for 25 years I have been without him. I have my family around me and my friends have been so kind and thoughtful.
But I didn''t even warrant a birthday card. After 25 years together and one month apart. The presents he got for me off the kids were bizarre - they had pestered him to get them something they could give me, but really they were awful, (of course I smiled and said they were lovely to the kids). It feels pretty awful.

I am nothing to him. I''ve been on the edge of crying all day, holding it back whilst people are around. Might have to go off on my own for a bit for a little sob.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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05 May 12 #328570 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
At least he got a card and present for the children to give you.

Think he was in a no win situation. What sort of card could he send you? Most cards are full of loving messages or very impersonal happy birthday statements, either one would have upset you.

Big hug and Happy Birthday.

  • Sunshine10
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05 May 12 #328575 by Sunshine10
Reply from Sunshine10
He didn''t get cards for the kids to give me.

And he knows me as well as I know him. I would have got him something to make him laugh and I suppose I expected the same. Its not a no-win in my eyes. Its him telling me I am nothing more than an irritant to him.

One of the presents was a book, which in itself is not strange but the style was....its what I''d describe as a girly book, probably his girlfriend likes it...its certainly not something he would choose, and its not something he would normally choose for me.

  • Crumpled
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05 May 12 #328576 by Crumpled
Reply from Crumpled
Hi sunshine yet again we could be living the same life my stbx did the same thing to me at christmas so totally understand how you sre feeling it is horrible after so long with someone that you they make you feel like this.
Happy Birthday from me big hugs:unsure:

  • fairylandtime
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05 May 12 #328579 by fairylandtime
Reply from fairylandtime
Happy birthday sunshine

I know how you feel, as my situation is exactly the same - I counteracted it by asking another family member to buy my cards/gifts from the kids - so they are not upset at mot giving anything & x is not involved.

Always make sure that the kids by x a card & press''s - it''s his problem tha he can''t reciprocate that. But have learnt in the scheme of things "what does it matter" & that I like him NOT being involved anymore.

Stay Strong, forget X & have a great day


  • Shoegirl
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05 May 12 #328612 by Shoegirl
Reply from Shoegirl
Happy birthday sunshine!

I experienced the same thing on my birthday after we had been separated a few months. Not exactly the same as we did not have kids together but the impersonal greetings which roughly translated meant I don''t give a Shxt about you anymore.

So I get it totally. I felt similar to you. I have a thread on it somewhere and its still there it''s called happy birthday? I also posted what it feels like a year later. It gets better.

Must be something in the air with the Girly theme. My stbx sent me a pink card with cartoon pictures of make up on it this year. This was clearly designed for a young teenager. Like you I wondered if this man ever knew me but this time around all this stuff made me laugh not cry. The second birthday alone was much easier than the first.

happy birthday :)

  • Mitchum
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05 May 12 #328623 by Mitchum
Reply from Mitchum
Happy birthday Sunshine.

A little late but I hope you enjoyed the time with family and the day turned out better than you anticipated. :)

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