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Wife left after 20 years

  • juwelkeeper
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12 May 12 #330188 by juwelkeeper
Topic started by juwelkeeper
I don''t know if this is the right froum but anyway here goes.
I have been married to my wife for 16 years and met 4 years before that so 20 years together and i loved here dearly.
Last saturday night she had organized a birthday dinner for me and 9 friends and it was a fantastic evening. We went from there to the local pub disco and had a good time there as well , Anyway as me and the wife walked home arm in arm she recieved this text that sent here all funny something i had never seen in here before like she was freaking out . She went to the toilet but said she could not go still looking in a very wierd mood almost in a panic. We were both under the influence of drink so i put it down to that. I went to bed as she did but she was up again texting, And still seemed in a panic like mode ,anyway i woke up at about 4am in the morning and she was not in our bed so i thought she must be asleep on the coutch . I looked out of the window and to my horror the car was gone and the wife was not lying on the coutch she had just left just like that. I was in a spin all sunday she would not answer my text or phone rang around all my friends and hers but no joy. 2 days later she text me for a talk around our step sons house . She laid it on the line saying she wanted more from the marriage felt trapped and saw no future and did not like some of my habits. I asked here twice if there wascanother guy but she was adement there was not. But now that the dust has settled a little and my head has cleared slightly i think that text she got that night was from a feller and that she may well have been having some sort of affair i just wish now that i took that bloody phone of her and see what was freaking here out . I might be right of the mark but i just never seen here looking so freaked out that night. I miss her so much she was a fantastic mum and wife and would do anything for me . we hardly ever argued it just makes it all the more confusing. The hurt is intense and i am really finding it hard to cope ATM . Thank god i have the kids who are also devstated.

  • leftwondering
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12 May 12 #330190 by leftwondering
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Hi JK,

Sorry to hear of your story and can feel for your pain and concern.
Do you know where she is at the moment?
Did she give any explanation as to why she suddenly took off?
Was there any sort of argument before you went to bed?

LW

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12 May 12 #330192 by juwelkeeper
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Hi LW
No argument at all. She said she was tossing and turning in bed and could not stay any longer and had to leave the house. I am guessing the beer gave her a bit of dutch courage to leave.She is still staying at her stepsons house but plans to move in a week or 2. The strange thing is she does not want the house or anything init just 3 binbags of here cloths. This makes me think she has another guy waiting for here and she is just waiting for the dust to settle and save her face a little.

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12 May 12 #330193 by leftwondering
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Hi JK,

Sorry to say, but to me I think there is a guy lurking somewhere.
Have you any access to emails, Facebook, etc?

Phone round her friends and say what''s happened..maybe one of them will drop a clue.

She may say verbally that she doesn''t want anything other than her clothes, but when the dust settles she may take you for a LOT more further down the line.

Verbals are useless.

How is she supporting herself?
Does she work?
Have her own account or joint account?

If joint account either get it frozen or transfer half to your own account somewhere.

Better crying and being distraught with some money in the bank rather than crying and distraught with it all gone.

LW

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12 May 12 #330195 by juwelkeeper
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Looked at facebook until she changed password but nothing on there to give a clue and nothing in emails. All our friends are stunned as they thought we were rock solid as a couple. As i did she was so kind and loving and worshipped me i just cant get my head around it. she also loved here kids but left them too ,does not make any sense at all . When she aske for the chat she was adament there would be no coming back you could just see in here eyes that this was the end.

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12 May 12 #330196 by Lostboy67
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Hi,
Welcome to the site, it certainly sounds like it is the right place for you.
I know its of no consolation to you but I think that your instincts are sadly going to be proved correct in the fullness of time.
For the moment you need to focus on taking care of your children and makeing sure that they are well cared for. This means that you need to first make sure you are looking after yourself. Take time to ensure that you are eating and sleeping as well as you can.

Take care
LB

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12 May 12 #330198 by leftwondering
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JK,

Unless she''s having a sudden nervous breakdown, which is highly unlikely after a party and a few drinks...the answer points to an exit strategy.
And she''s been planning it for some time.
Read through some of the blogs and posts on this site.
There is NEVER another person involved...until they get found out.
Until then it''s just BS like "just need some space to think about things" etc etc etc

Get your finances stabilized ASAP.

LW

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