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should i text my wife that i think she wa cheating

  • juwelkeeper
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13 May 12 #330219 by juwelkeeper
Topic started by juwelkeeper
As i said in an earlier thread i think my wife has been cheating but have no real proof. The strange text that freeked her out the night she left. Leaving me everything and leaves with just 3 binbags of cloths , makes me think she has a place lined up to stay .The marks on here neck today when i dropped my son off looked like a mild love bite although you imagination can run wild ATM. And the rubbish excuses why she wants out.

Should i just text her and accuse her of having another feller (will make me feel better if i know) although she will most likly deny it .Or just leave it and stew wondering if she has another bloke.

  • Lostboy67
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13 May 12 #330221 by Lostboy67
Reply from Lostboy67
No don''t, what would it achieve?
If she says no, would you believe her ? I am guessing no, and in reality if there is someone else as you suspect she is probably going to lie. She is giving you lots of BS as to why she wants out, that''s par for the course, and in reality it is all cr@p and lies.


  • PetalsInTheWind
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13 May 12 #330222 by PetalsInTheWind
Reply from PetalsInTheWind
texting that is a reaction to her behaviour and will achieve nothing. You have no control over what she does but you do have the power to control your reactions. A horrible situation that I understand but my advice would be to look at your personal moral compass

  • Mitchum
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13 May 12 #330228 by Mitchum
Reply from Mitchum
It''s so tempting to want to contact her because you want answers. It''s devastating when someone you love suddenly does something totally out of character, but believe me the answers you get are unlikely to be the truth.

If all she''s taken are bin bags of clothes and personal stuff, it seems she''s got something/someone lined up. I''ve seen similar reactions to texts my ex received and that was probably the one she was waiting for to finalise the move. Sorry but that''s what it looks like.

For now concentrate( almost impossible I know!) on practical things like the money the house etc. It seems unlikely that she wants NOTHING else from you. Get the information you need to secure your future and your home.

Spend time with family and friends who will help you stay positive. Keep posting and consider writing a blog. It all helps.

  • juwelkeeper
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13 May 12 #330230 by juwelkeeper
Reply from juwelkeeper
So texting here seems a silly idea then . Just need some closure on it as not really knowing is almost as painful as here leaving.

  • julesgy
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13 May 12 #330231 by julesgy
Reply from julesgy
hi there

what if she doesnt reply to your texts ? that will drive you crazy - believe me i know - i turned detective when my gut instinct told me my stbx was messing around with other women i even paid tohave my computer checked but wha surprised me was after a while the amount of people that wondered about it because of habits at work !!! but believe me it can drive you insane going into detective mode does she work ?
as the others have said though you need to be strong for the kids and that will help you focus on something else too .
ive been married for 33yrs and my stbx left twice (other women) but i still dont know the reasons (he just told me that he was a prat !!!) so you may never know what went wrong or why sorry
take care
you''ll findthat youre stronger than you think


  • Canuck425
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13 May 12 #330239 by Canuck425
Reply from Canuck425
I''m in the don''t bother texting camp. Firmly. She''s left. Gone. It''s a crazy situation but that''s where you are.

She knows where you are. Where the kids are. Maybe she''ll come back. I hope so. But for now she is gone.

Is there another man? Probably. Does it really matter? What will that knowledge change?

I bet you''ll find that answers will be hard to come by. Most people never seem to get satisfactory answers, including myself. The most honest answer I received when I asked why was "I don''t know". That doesn''t bring closure.

My theory is that to move one you need to first accept what has happened. That is going to take some time for you. It is so early. Then you need to focus on making your life the best it can be. You can get through this. it will take time and a LOT of work.

With time, I hope, you will see positives come out of this. I know I have in my journey. Lots of positives actually.

Crazy times though - I get that. At one point I thought my life couldn''t get crazier, then it did!

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