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Have ''they'' got a right?

  • flowerofscotland
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21 May 12 #332132 by flowerofscotland
Topic started by flowerofscotland
Yet again, it has been highlighted to me that my STBX, who seems to be making a go of it with OW No 2, is constantly ''promoting'' himself and his hobby on the internet.

What was once a hobby, although always an obsessive one at that, seems to have escalated out of control. Every weekend he is advertising where he will be the following weekend, whilst the new OW, or at least the one he has chosen to go public with, the rest well they need to just sit in the background, takes great pleasure in tweeting, and sending messages via FB that she will be by his side, whilst he has his constant weekends of glory.

I know it is easy to say ignore this, but due to the complicated nature of my case, I have to collect as much ammunition against him and his ways of making an income, in order to prove that he is trying to pull the wool over the Courts eyes.

What angers me is have they, the OW, the right to constantly rub our noses in it, when they do not know what hell their ''new man'' is putting his wife and children through?

What makes these OW/OM tick? What drives them to parade their new relationships for the whole world to see, whilst we are the ones left suffering. No consideration that his children are aghast that he is now being supported by another woman whom they do not know or even have the inclination to want to know! Don''t get me wrong, I am the first to recognise it takes two to tango, but I am just at a loss as to what makes these despicable people think they have the right to hold the hands of those who hurt their families beyond beggars belief!

Maybe I am just too old fashioned and because of my own nature would not dream of becoming involved with a married man going through an acrimonious divorce, where children are involved. Are they the OW/OM right and the rest of us wrong?

Well all I can say is I long for the day, when they too, will visit Heartbreak Hotel!

Take care for now FoS x

  • tinkerbell1606
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21 May 12 #332133 by tinkerbell1606
Reply from tinkerbell1606
They do not EVER think about what they are doing or the affect it has on you, your children or anyone else for that matter.
Complete inability to empathise is indicative of the pair of them!
As painful as it has been for you & your children ( from reading your posts/blogs) my thinking is that you are well out of this marriage.
When this process is over I wish for you a truly honest and genuine relationship with someone who is able to put you first, you deserve it.

Tink x

  • Action
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21 May 12 #332138 by Action
Reply from Action
They sound like immature, selfish and insecure people to me. Try to think of it as merely an evidence collecting exercise if you can. They are making themselves look utterly heartless and ridiculous. I''m a great believer in Karma.

You know you are right in your moral standards and principles. I''ve given up trying to understand how some people conduct their lives, let alone sleep at night.

Take care.

  • sun flower
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21 May 12 #332140 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
Oh Flower

I am an old fashioned girl too. Married men always have been off limits. I would never have considered anything else. Also cheating on my husband - not worth it - endangering our lovely family.

And yet these people can do these things.

Are you, I and our little band of wiki chums the only decent honourable people left? If so, perhaps the powers that be (whoever they are) should start some kind of conservation programme because it seems to me that we are a dying breed.

I am sending hugs

  • Mitchum
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22 May 12 #332145 by Mitchum
Reply from Mitchum
NO, they''ve got it wrong but they''re so besotted with their own gorgeousness that they cannot see. They''re blind to the fact that they''ve lost what really matters in this life. He''s lost his children for goodness sake. You hold that treasure in the palm of your hand whilst he is parading his shallow existence as though it matters a damn. Nothing matters if you''ve lost the love and respect of your children. He''s got a pot of fool''s gold, you have the real treasure.


  • Canuck425
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22 May 12 #332152 by Canuck425
Reply from Canuck425

What angers me is have they, the OW, the right to constantly rub our noses in it?

I believe they really have no clue about the pain they are causing. I don''t think they''re purposefully flaunting or rubbing our noses in it. I think they see it as their right to happiness. Remember that right now they are in the bubble. Where everything is rosy and amazing. Nothing will ever turn bad and the amazingness will never wear off. New love. Sigh.

They look at the ones they left with sadness. Like isn''t it so sad that they cannot be happy like us? Happy for us? If only they found love like us then they would be happy too!

In my case she and her man weren''t being mean or callous. They were just not in touch with reality - at all! They were delusional in thinking it could work and totally off their rocker with respect to the impact on the kids. But I truly do not think they reveled in my misery. Not in my case any way.

I know that for you it is different. That your ex is not so nice and your court case is awful. I guess you should not worry about the OWs and what their motivation is. That''s their problem. They don''t owe you an explanation and you don''t owe them a warning. I hope you can get this all settled and then get on with your life. You''ll find a way to make it awesome. I know you won''t rub your ex''s nose in it. You won''t care!

  • julie321
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22 May 12 #332199 by julie321
Reply from julie321
Thoe OW in my case stated she didn''t care what happened to my children as long as she got him. Even my daughter remarked on why her dad would want to be with a perso who said that about his kids.

I agree with Mitchum they are totally blinded by infatuation and loose the respect of their children, mine certainly have no respect for their dad, they see him but not her but they don''t trust him and always come to me when they need advice.

Married people should always be off limits but unfortunately I also beleive that honesty in relationships seem to be dying out. How sad.

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