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Okay, I''ll stick my head above the parapet on this one. I''m not proud that I had an affair, I''m not proud that I broke my vows, I''m not proud that I ended my marriage to be with somebody else. But for me it came down to making a choice to change my own future for the better.
Don''t know how many people frequent wiki who are the instigators of separation because they had the affair/started a new relationship but if there are any would you share your stories?
Please don''t think for one moment that it is easy. It took me six months of thinking. Months of almost telling but not. Months of wondering whether I was making the right decision. Months of trying to give it another go with my husband. I would personally class it as months of "angst" but that would be to belittle the angst that I subsequently caused by my action.
How does it happen, is it sudden or do people plan, how do people feel about the person they leave, is there a lot of guilt or little etc...
In my case, my marriage had become "convenience". S*x life was non-existent. We shared meals, watched the same television programmes, slept like two logs in a woodpile. But the connection had gone between us. All I could see was another sixty years of the same thing, and it wasn''t what I wanted. I tried subtly to change the basis of the marriage, but STBX didn''t like change, he was happy with what he saw as our life, which I was seeing as non-life, mere existence.
it seems that often it takes someone new to come along to make them aware of their unhappiness. That someone provides something that is missing in their current relationship and suddenly they see things completely differently