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Controlling, obsessive husband

  • ScobbyDoo
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05 Jun 12 #335186 by ScobbyDoo
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Hi, Any advice appreciated.
I only married last july and am now considering ending my Marriage as my Husbands behaviour is becoming increasingly irrational. We married but do not live together (his choice) he has been caught checking my mobile, laptop history does not like me going out with friends if I do I get grilled before and after and text messaged and called throughout the evening.

I am friends with a man from work but nothing more and he had saw in my history that we had been chatting then since then has been behaving really strange. I know he does not believe me when I try to reassure him. He is now totally obsessed and its really upsetting me as I have done nothing more than talk to another male. He must have sat in his friends car outside my flat checking to see if I was on my PC. He works in IT and must be able to tell if I am online or not from his Apple phone. I was online but doing some competitions!! He then called me to tell me? Just as I had closed over my laptop.

I have tried to talk to him and he even agreed to counselling but tonight he texted me to tell he was cancelling the appointment.

He is totally obsessed and I am getting a little frightened now as to what he might do next.

I live myself with my teenage daughter. I just don''t know what else to do? I know that I can''t live like this.

  • yellowrose
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05 Jun 12 #335188 by yellowrose
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I do not profess to know anything about obsessive behaviour but this does not sound ''normal'' to me. In fact it sounds like something you might see in a film.

I would advise you to talk to someone who knows about such things and in the meantime proceed with care.

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05 Jun 12 #335191 by ScobbyDoo
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Thank you

  • jar of hearts
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06 Jun 12 #335446 by jar of hearts
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I have been married to such a man for many years and the behaviour is typical. I bet if you challenge him over it he will deny everything and try to make out that it is you who are mad?

This does not sound like a healthy relationship in any way and I think you should take advice immediately.

Good luck

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07 Jun 12 #335563 by ScobbyDoo
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Thanks again for your advice. I have made an appointment to speak with a solicitor and will take it from there.

My husband has now recognised what he has done and has said he would go for counciling but my worry is if I stay with him he will cancel and make some excuse. Then everything will be fine for a while and then his behaviour will start to change again as it has done in the past.

Not sure if I am willing to hang around to see as its now been nearly four years, Married just under one year, I feel life is too short and people rarely change. I am sitting on the fence right now as to wether to stay and give the Marriage one last try or just to walk away?

Even when we first met he lied to me about having children and told me he only had one daughter then four months later he told me his daughter had a brother. Then a year later after a big argument he confessed to having another three children.

I really don''t know what I was thinking back then but I stayed with him. Now I realise I should have probably thrown in the towel back then!

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