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A bad week

  • Warrior Princess
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17 Jun 12 #337190 by Warrior Princess
Topic started by Warrior Princess
This has been a bad week. After no contact for several months I have had an abusive note left on the drive way in front of my house, 2 unpleasant emails regarding our divorce and on Friday went into the local second hand shop run by one of ex''s cronies only to find a row of his shIrts hanging up for sale that I had bought him! This felt like the last straw!
He is blaming me for everything -the alleged delays in our divorce proceedings, involving solicitors, him not seeing the children. in his words " IT''S ALL YOUR FAULT" was how his last email ended.
He chose to leave me after 17 years of marriage to move in with OW after knowing her for 6 weeks allegedly and has blamed me for the failure of our marriage from day 1. He told everyone and even told my mother this week after ringing her that he had been unhappy for 10 years and hadn''t she noticed things weren''t right!
Luckily light is at the end of the tunnel, we signed the Consent Order last week so hopefully all will be sorted in the next month with regard to the divorce.
It has just been a very unpleasant awful time and the last few days have brought it all back to me again having felt I was so much stronger.
Will I ever feel "normal" again?
WP x :(

  • mumtoboys
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17 Jun 12 #337191 by mumtoboys
Reply from mumtoboys
this is all ''normal'' given the circumstances. You''d be amazed how many of us who were cheated on forced our exs to cheat! I sent mine sprinting into the arms of the other woman, it would seem!

It''s all rubbish. Life isn''t what he thought it would be. Grass is rarely greener - and even when it is, it doesn''t stay that way for long.

Ignore it. Take a deep breath and get on with things. Indeed, part of the problem is probably that he sees you getting on with things and coping just fine without him!

  • pixy
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17 Jun 12 #337192 by pixy
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That kind of vitriol suggests that he''s still very unhappy and full of guilt. He''s a mess and he''d like to believe you are too.

I know how hard it is, but don''t let him infect your mind like this. Stay strong - because you really are strong and getting stronger.


  • raybird
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17 Jun 12 #337213 by raybird
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WP, dont let him bring you back down, he s obviousley got issues, but his problem not yours any more, stay strong xxxxxxxxxxxx

  • jar of hearts
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18 Jun 12 #337295 by jar of hearts
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WP, the clue is in his reactions, you are coping and normal and he is very far from it!! To act in the way he is doing shows how guilty and unhappy he is especially as you are moving on and strong enough to cope.

Keep it up and as the saying goes - ''don''t let the useless loser grind you down''

  • Canuck425
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19 Jun 12 #337503 by Canuck425
Reply from Canuck425
Yep, this is the standard cheater/leaver behaviour. There is a template that they follow.

Here is my favourite "affair" song that I pass along from time to time. It always gives me a good laugh and is done by a great Canadian singer.

The advice at this point is that same as well. Focus on you. Take care of you. Put yourself first. Really first. Commit to loving you. This is usually really new thinking. Can you do it? It matters!

  • Warrior Princess
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19 Jun 12 #337519 by Warrior Princess
Reply from Warrior Princess
Hi everyone,
thanks for your compassion and kind words.
Canuck, I guess you''ve asked the hardest thing of me and I completely get it, but this has been and still is hard for me to do. I have tried to put my kids first perhaps at my own expense. They appear to be coping much better now so may be it''s my turn now?
Having been abused in many ways by my ex husband, I was completely traumatised when he left and I think only now, almost 12 months down the line can I see that I am so much better off without him. The troll he is with is now having to deal with his moods, emotional cruelty and selfish ways, that in its self brings me some small pleasure! It is however very hard to see yourself in any positive light when you have been made to feel unloved, unwanted, worthless, inadequate, controlling, unattractive, the list is endless.....
The best advice I have had from a friend''s mum was "the best revenge is to live life well" so I am going to do my utmost to do this, so here goes........!
WP xxx :)

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