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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Still want to be with him

  • Lori321
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07 Jul 12 #341702 by Lori321
Topic started by Lori321
Filed for divorce after much sole searching and deep sadness. Felt that there was no other way forward and that there was no hope for us due to the fact that he denies being unfaithful. I saw two councillors who both said the same thing once I''d told them what had being happening. I think I saw the second one, well, either to confirm what I knew really or for her to confirm that my husband was right in that I am imaging things, not hearing things right etc...basically NOT''gas lighting'' me. I have told him that I want to believe him when he says he loves me and he wants things to work out, he is being so lovely to me. People I know say don''t fall for it, my son pleaded for me not to be with him. SO WHY even though I know deep downn it would never work, I want to be with him, I miss him so much, I think of good times, of when we first met and it hurts. I have being told that I have to mourn and that is what I am going through right now. Why is it that i couldn''t bear the thought of beign with him and now we have no contact at all, all i want is to be with him. Whats the psycoholgy in that.

  • pixy
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07 Jul 12 #341703 by pixy
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Lori so many of us have been in that place. There''s no logic to emotions - but it really will get easier. Stay strong. ((()))

  • livinginhope
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07 Jul 12 #341714 by livinginhope
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Lori I think when we reach the end of trying to make things work and realise they never will we still can''t help wishing that everything could have been put right.We want the relationship we once had,or hoped to have had,back again.
I posted yesterday about my ex now doing internet dating and feel angry,sad and various emotions wondering why he couldn''t have put that effort into trying to save our marriage.He didn''t so I need to just accept that''s how things are and keep on making my new life good for me.
I am actually happier,calmer and more relaxed than I have been for years but I still have some reaction about what he is doing.I suppose if we had no contact I wouldn''t know and wouldn''t care either.You will work through it but it will take time.
Living xxx

  • sim5355
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07 Jul 12 #341738 by sim5355
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hi! lori321 it is called codependency and is like a addiction.I don,t know your story but i guess he is not always nice as you say he is at the moment .This is to stop you from leaving he is trying to hook you back, take no notice he will revert back to his normal self if not worse ,you cannot help these people run as fast as you can.

  • onedaymaybe
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07 Jul 12 #341751 by onedaymaybe
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To extend your post-
How do you break the codependency?

  • Lori321
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07 Jul 12 #341766 by Lori321
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Codependency - I looked it up; interestingly i am not co-dependent quite on the contary but what i did come to the conclusion was that my husband wants me to be! I am and have always being an independant person. What i see in my self now is someone who is fighting to keep my independance which has caused problems between us. Wanting to be with someone and to enjoy thier company is not codependance.

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20 Jul 12 #344375 by Lori321
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He has deffinately backed off attempting to win me back, more his real self as he knows there is no chance of reconciliation. I have being told more lies, he will never change. Feeling a lot better and more positive about the situation just wished he wouldn''t turn everything all around as he has so often done; he is telling others it is me who is seeing others and has even sugested I have a STD... he''s beyond belief. I have being so angree.

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