A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Are certain ages a time bomb for a relationship?

  • not such a bad guy
  • not such a bad guy's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
15 Aug 12 #349769 by not such a bad guy
Topic started by not such a bad guy
Does anyone else out there feel that there are certain ages that for men or women are almost like time bomb in a relationship. There are so many people that I have spoken with over the past few years, who''s relationships have just fallen apart as they have approached 40 years old. From the people where this has happened it''s as if they take a look at their circumstances and say...''is this what I''ve got to look forward to for the rest of my life??''.

I always used to think a ''mid life crisis'' was about guys suddenly wanting to ride a motorbike or women trying to look and dress as if you were 20 years younger...but it seems as if there is a whole lot more to it than I''d ever imagined.

What do others think?

  • sun flower
  • sun flower's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
16 Aug 12 #349770 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
Definitely - my ex told me exactly that - he got to his 40th birthday and thought is this all there is and wanted out. For the record he bought himself a motorbike.

We limped on for seven years (I took him back twice) but there was always ow in background.

I had in my mind if I could just get us to 50 we would be fine - but I look on this site and realise that''s just another hot spot to be negotiated.

In my opinion it is just too easy and acceptable to jump ship (although nobody wants to go back to when there was a stigma if your parents were divorced and people had to stay in violent relationships because they could not face the shame of admitting a problem.)

But yes, there are hotspots - a second pregnancy seems to be another one.

sc

  • Stingrayj
  • Stingrayj's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
16 Aug 12 #349771 by Stingrayj
Reply from Stingrayj
I don''t know whether it''s certain ages or just certain people. :huh:

  • polar
  • polar's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
16 Aug 12 #349773 by polar
Reply from polar
Yep my cousin talked to a lawyer and he said that if he got £1 for every 50 year old woman who walked through the door wanting a divorce he would be a millionaire (and probably was !!)

  • Elphie
  • Elphie's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
16 Aug 12 #349782 by Elphie
Reply from Elphie
Haha, polar that''s funny he actually said that, I''m sure he got more than a quid for every woman that walked through the door! Otherwise....I want he''s number, he sounds like my kind of solisitor! Lol

  • Ekaterine
  • Ekaterine's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
16 Aug 12 #349798 by Ekaterine
Reply from Ekaterine
I think you''re okay at 40 if you got married age 35ish and are just enjoying the family thing and settling down.

The trouble usually starts at 40 for those who were teen romances and early marriages. We married young and had children young, worked hard went through hard times he worked away a lot moved us around the country so quite isolated too, he didn''t really have friends due to work. Then age 43 as work eased off he said he looked around at what he''d got and thought - do I have to go through 40 more years of unhappiness? Actually I thought what he''d got was pretty good but he traded it all in for affair and new fly by night friends.Unfortunately for him the whole divorce thing accelerated his hair loss and I don''t know whether the OW is any more enthusiastic than me about going to punk concerts! I think he wanted his youth back because he now lives round the corner from his childhood home with some one I think he probably fancied before he met me. So that''s my whole life with him cancelled out. Maybe when he hits fifty he may get nostalgic for when he was 18 and come knocking on my door but I''m afraid his bridges have been burned. Sad really.

  • maisymoos
  • maisymoos's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
16 Aug 12 #349809 by maisymoos
Reply from maisymoos
Early 40''s I reckon, especially if you have youngish children. Some people don''t seem to realise having children brings life changes and cannot accept they are no longer no 1!

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11