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I hate nightimes

  • taff45
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22 Aug 12 #351049 by taff45
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Hi Everyone

My husband left me 3 days ago after 3 months of trying to live together following his "I no longer love you" speech then my more recent discovery of his affair.

So I am alone in the house with our three teenage children. He still has to work from home until next week so i see him daily still. At times I think I am going mad with everything. Night time''s are the worst hence my posting at 5am as I have been awake since 3am. This has been my pattern over the last 3 months. I can get to sleep but wake around 3 then thats it, it all comes rushing back in on me and I cant get back to sleep. Things always seem ten times worse at night.

I know I have to get through this. But the reality of actually getting through this is soooo hard.:(

  • MrsMathsisfun
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22 Aug 12 #351060 by MrsMathsisfun
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Sorry your going through such a tough time. You will get through it somehow some way.

To help with the sleeping trying going to bed later and setting the alarm earlier at get up straight away. I know that sounds mad but having 5 hours solid sleep is much better than 8 hours of laying in a bed tossing and turning.

  • mag
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22 Aug 12 #351173 by mag
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taff i feel for you. im having the same problems re sleep but what mathsisfun said is spot on and what im trying to do. on occasion though i cant get sleep so i have been to the doctors for some tablets as a temporary measure, i have no intention of using them for more than a couple of weeks to try and re-establish my sleeping pattern.

i know its hard but you need to try and keep your chin up and hold your head high - literally! i find that if i slump and start thinking down thoughts i get down. when i do ive headed out for a walk and kept my head up, its amazing what a change in posture can do for your overall wellbeing.

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22 Aug 12 #351176 by taff45
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Thanks for that mag and Mathsisfun. It really helps when people reply, just wish we weren''t all in this horrible situation.

I am going to bed as a lot later than I ever have but just seem to hit a problem at 3am every morning, wake and am desperately tired but cant switch of brain and go back to sleep. I know I have to beat this, its not good for me i need to sleep. My sister gave me some herbal tablets to aid sleep - think I might try them. Have also got meditation apps and relaxing music as well as watching movies and iplayer - however there are just times when nothing works - its just an awful situation and you have to get through the black bit.

Running also helps. Started this recently - never would have believed it of me the original couch potato - but it gets me out and gives me another focus. Went out running at 7 am when i gave up on sleep this morning.

  • Canuck425
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22 Aug 12 #351215 by Canuck425
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Give yourself a break. This is early days for you. Figure out what little things you can do for yourself and then do them. Just a little every day. It''s part of caring for you. Going for a run is a great example.

You''ll get through this but it will take time and a lot of hard work. Just the passing of time is not quite enough...

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22 Aug 12 #351225 by taff45
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Thanks Canuck, wise and helpful words.

I did think something similar this morning, just need to focus on getting through minute by minute then build to one day at a time. Thinking about the future and anything more is just too much, need to get through the now for the tomorrow.

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22 Aug 12 #351234 by Crumpled
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HI I am so sorry that things are so awful for you at the moment I have been there like so many others and i do understand at one point i was watching dvds when i woke up just to take my mind away from the constant barrage of thoughts but i would agree both with mathis and canuck .......it is early days for you and i know how hard it is to have them in the house so hopefully when he has gone things although probably seeming bleak will improve when you dont have to have him there as a constant reminder.

I know it is so difficult but i promise you things do eventually get easier and your emotions eventually will settle down...sadly it just takes time.I wish i had a magic wand but i dont so in the meantime try and stay strong and remember we are all here for you so you are not alone.......lots of love

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