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I thought I was doing ok today :(

  • sillywoman
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30 Aug 12 #352936 by sillywoman
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Get off the floor and take your pride back!

Go to a solicitor tomorrow and get a divorce sorted.

This man has got the upper hand - possibly keeping you dangling until he finds someone else.

Yes, it hurts. It hurts like hell, but once you take control you will feel so much better.

Does he want me, doesnt he want me???? Do you really want a man who treats you so poorly? And if you got back together whats to stop him putting you exactly in the same position years down the line.

Stop the heartbreak - get a divorce sorted.

  • donkler
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30 Aug 12 #352938 by donkler
Reply from donkler
Change the locks NOW. No messing around come on.

  • tinkerbell1606
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30 Aug 12 #352940 by tinkerbell1606
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I really feel for you, but also think the solicitor is the best course of action right now. He is already making unilateral decisions regarding joint finances, it''s the marital assets he is spending.
Can''t imagine he would be quite so understanding if it were you who had bought a new car!
Mine bought a very expensive flat, judge was less than impressed.
If he doesn''t want to be married anymore then you need to safeguard yourself & your children''s futures, not just watch him get on with his new life at the expense of yours.
Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, a lot of people behave as though their assets belong solely to them when the marriage is over. Fact is they are marital assets and it''s all joint until its absolute!

  • positive41
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30 Aug 12 #352944 by positive41
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kazza my heart goes out to you, hang in there!!!
Mine intially walked out saying he hadn''t loved me in a very long time & he''d been trying to tell me for ages, even though the week previously he''d booked a family holiday and a romantic weekend away.
Then he said we could work on it & to put my wedding rings back on & we''d go for counselling.
Counselling lasted 3 weeks because he didn''t like where it was going.
5 Months down the line I found out there was another woman.
He still has a key to the house & comes in whenever he likes stating he is paying the mortgage so its his right and the last time he looked it was still his!!!
I was on a rollercoaster of emotions. There were days I cried endlessly, I can still barely eat or sleep. But on the up side I''ve managed to get myself a full-time job, I''ve lost a lot of weight and look HOT (HAHA revenge indeed) and I''m beginning to have nearly 1/2 a day where I don''t think about him or what has happened. It will get better I promise.One day at a time just get through it. Also write a journal & vent all your feelings into it. I look back now & I''ve come so far. YOU CAN DO IT. sending you a big load of hugs.

  • taff45
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30 Aug 12 #352959 by taff45
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Thanks for that Kazzabelle - will be thinking of you too and everyone else here who is suffering tonight.

|t`s late and I really need to get some sleep - eyes s tired and sore - crying hasn`t helped - we have both done that today Kazzabelle and I guess we aren`t alone in that unfortunately.

Sorry I am bleak tonight,day has ended horribly and I just want it all to go away - sometimes I wonder how I am even supposed to manage baby steps. Just need to believe what others have experienced and shared here - it will get better.

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31 Aug 12 #352972 by Action
Reply from Action
Hi Kazza - sorry to read about what a tough time you''re having. The others are right in that seeing a solcitor will make you feel better as you''ll be more in control. It''s very cruel what he is doing keeping you hanging on like that.

Try to think of it as just one day. Other days will be better, you will undoubtedly have more bad days but you will be surprised at how much stronger you will become.

I had my bad day yesterday (I wonder if it''s the full moon?) as my ex sent a change of address postcard addressed to my son ''and family'' who are living with me at present - had a photo of him on the front standing outside his new ''pad'' and a typed message (sent to everyone the same) about how wonderful the house/village/pub is. It''s been 22 months on my journey and he can still push the knife in and twist it. He is so vile!

Let''s raise a glass to look forward to complete indifference. I am sure we will all be much happier people when we reach that stage.

Take care.

  • Kazzabell80
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01 Sep 12 #353178 by Kazzabell80
Reply from Kazzabell80
I did take some control back. Went to the solicitors yesterday - was everything that I had hoped for. I am not unreasonable but even so, he is going to have the shock of his life when reality hits him.

Didn''t initiate any proceedings though, although wish I had now as he has since told me that he wants a divorce. Says he has an appointment on Monday with a solicitor....a day that he has the children and said that he will just have to take them with him! I don''t think so. I will be making sure that will not happen.

Anyway, first thing Monday morning will be me calling solicitors to initiate proceedings.

It is still very painfull and this is certainly not where I want to be or the future that I want. He has forced this upon me and I have to protect my children''s future and myself...so be it.

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