Sad Times

My husband was 40 at the end of April 2012, 3 days later we had the most almighty row, mainly coming from me as I was saying the most dreadful and hurtful things to him, which resulted in me leaving the house for a few days, when I came back he had taken the wedding photos off the wall and removed his wedding ring. We had been together for 15 years and only got married 18 months ago. The first year of the marriage was lovely and very romantic, but things seemed to change after Christmas 2011, he seemed distant, was drinking cans of beer every evening when he got home from work and constantly complaining about his work and I feel all of this lead up to this row. We were just not reconciling and I was getting more and more worried as he seemed so certain that it was all over between us and said that it was because of the row and the things that I had said. We reconciled very briefly in June, but something still did not seem right and I just did not know what. He did not come home after work one evening and I was very worried and contacted his mother to see if he was there, which he was not. I got a message from my sister that day asking me to call her ASAP, which I did and she had told me that she had seen my husband holding hands with another woman late that evening, I was absolutely devistated and also realised that maybe the row was not the only issue in the break up. I confronted him by text and his reply was "nothing is going on, she is just a friend and a potential flatmate". I have been in total denial of it all and still thinking the breakdown was because of the row that I had with him. He moved out 6 weeks ago with the woman he was seen with and I have now filed for the divorce. I have 3 children and very worried about what is going to happen with the house, it is in joint names I don''t earn enough money and he is the breadwinner. He keeps saying that I should leave the house and that he should move back in as he earns the most money, is this correct?

Well ignoring the emotions which I can see are more than raw..

1.You were in a long term relationship

2.You have three children which I assume are joint children

3. You are joint mortgage holders and presumably joint tennents at the land registry (if he is the sole tennent register now)

4. It is a short marriage but a long time together with joint finance and three children and a possible inapropriate relationship with another woman (as seen by sister)

Hard as it must be what are your thoughts for the future right now - do you want to stay married?

First of all he said stay in the house and we can share the bank account, now he seems to be pushing for the divorce, which I have ended up filing for now. I all seems so quick from the argument at the end of April to him moving in with this woman in July and introducing her to my children. The whole thing seems so unreal.

OK warning lights going on now he said you could share the joint bank account!

Yikes call me stupid but been there done that. I had a joint bank account with my husband which was linked to a credit card on DDM which was in husbands name with me as a joint account holder.

So what happened was my ex took me immediately off the credit card (it was his I was only a third party on it) but he spent thousands in weeks on it and run it up on the joint bank account which I was liable for.

Please be careful and do not be too trusting; in my experience it does not pay.