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meeting new people

  • newleaf
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14 Jan 13 #374301 by newleaf
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Just spent an hour salting the road outside my house, met three new people, had a nice chat and cleared the road. Everybody wins ;)

Btw

Amazing what a conversation starter it is being a girl using a spade in the snow!
:laugh:

  • polar
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15 Jan 13 #374448 by polar
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Yep but its because you ''''got out there''''
Far to many people isolate themselves in front of that goggle box or computer and don''t have the art of conversation. Anyone else noted that when abroad people greet strangers with ''''bonjour'''' in the street as they pass. Same in cafes. They introduce themselves as they enter and leave. Of course much of this has to do with aggressive attitudes in the UK with ''''what the F are you looking at'''' or to do with the do gooders who accuse you of being a pedo if you talk to children.

  • newleaf
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15 Jan 13 #374475 by newleaf
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You''re right Polar.
In general People here don''t even make eye contact if you pass them on the street let alone say hello.
Its taken me over a year to get my neighbours talking!

And I''ll be moving soon and have to start over..

  • polar
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15 Jan 13 #374485 by polar
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Yes but we have allowed this to happen. Currently I work in a sector where people will lie to get what they want and are dodgy and fiddle at the first opportunity with no regard to the effect they have on themselves or others.
Reminds me of a time recently in Switzerland.
Four of us..heavy lads walking back from the pub. Down the road came a crowd of youths whooping and yelling . All were carrying bottles of vodka or similar. In true British style we braced ourselves for trouble. The first lad stopped and said....''''can you tell us the time of the next bus ''''!!!!!
Sadly we have become very isolated due to the very nature of society. Can''t do this or that without a licence. We used to hold street bar-b-ques and we put a car over the entrance to the street. Police turned up but one of the neighbours was a copper and told them to clear off.
My Dad when he was alive used to make model boats and sailed them but he was always aware that this attracted kids and couldn''t speak to them.
In fact if you are willing to make the effort to chat to people as you did they are only to willing to chat back. Its called community. Something that''s sadly missing on the estates today.

  • TEIN
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10 Jun 13 #396530 by TEIN
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Getting out meeting and talking to people appears so difficult when you lack confidence but is the way out of sitting in front of the tv or pc.

Although I often find that out walking, running, or going to the gym many people now have headphones in which is there way of saying leave me alone please.

  • newleaf
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10 Jun 13 #396555 by newleaf
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Its funny when people dig up old posts, thanks TEIN :)I remember this day well, a disaster day when my car was stuck in the snow and I''d run out of food (bad planning on my part). I had spent 4 months in hiding, post split, not really talking to anyone, zero confidence.

If the wikis think I am a quiet one now, they should have seen me back then :(

But this day showed me that just making the effort to leave the house and talk to people could change everything. There''s been a few days when I have thought there''s no point in going out, its easier to stay in. But on these days I now push myself to go out, challenge myself to talk to at least 2 ''strangers''.. its working pretty well and now these bad days have turned out to be some of the best days.

The gym is actually not the best place to meet people, yes they have headphones and most people just want to do their routine and leave asap. But have you tried the pool/sauna, certainly seems to be the place to chat at my gym! :D

My next social adventure is going to be a meetup group trip to the cinema, sitting with complete strangers for a movie and dinner is going to be a huge challenge for me (maybe for them too ;)) but worth a try.

  • Stumpylad70
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10 Jun 13 #396568 by Stumpylad70
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Newleaf, I hope you enjoy the film, to me one of lifes great pleasures.

Meeting new people is difficult for most people. We are set in our social circle and when it gets broken, its hard to remember how we built it in the first place.

Its hardest when all your friends are gone (as they are in my case, as they were all the STBX''s friends). But its also a great opportunity, the chance to find new people who speak to you because they like YOU, not because of who you are with.

Good luck and all the best :)

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