I divorced my ex over 2 years ago after a being married for over 20 years I was his second wife and was always made to feel by his religious close family I and our children were second best.
We both cared for many foster children 100 plus during our marriage but eventually due to my ill health we were unable to continue fostering. I had more time in my hands and was more aware of my ex husband being unavailble but not at work ... Eventually the penny dropped he was not at work but he was somewhere else with ow and spending a large amount if cash keeping her occupied.
I petitioned for divorce not for adultery as I could not prove this unless he admitted it but UB. During our ever so amicable divorce I was given legal aid to draw up Petition Consent Order and apply for Absolute but our seperation and finances were discussed using mediation services.
My ex minimised my contribution to our family over valued the FMH would not pay to get pension valued by actuary and mediation could not make him. My first Consent Order was kicked out by a judge as in hindsight there were errors regarding the wording my limited earning capicity was not fully explained to the court (nil) I have MS which my solicitor mediation service and my ex where fully aware of but very little was made of this in applications to the court ... Sighs clearly in hindsight my ex would not do this as it would impact our finaces all I wanted to do at the the time of my divorce was secure a head over my children''s head.
Prior to our divorce my ex received a large lump sum payment as part of his pension which he was frittering away on a Russian escort ....god I could write a book on that saga it would be a best seller in screw the rich daddy 52 then the son 27 from the first marriage then marry the sons rich best mate age unknown, because your visa is running out and the rich daddy gives her away at the wedding sighs which fever stated my stepson who was unaware his ex girlfriend slept with his father on a cash only basis.
While all of this was going in my ex att agreement took what was left if his lump sum and used that to put down a deposit on a suitable property yet claimed poverty .... All I could see on his social network sight was what a wonderful time he was having with this woman shopping restaurants etc and my child support was dropped as it was an informal agreement not by what he wanted but it was dropped nonetheless...
I do think that is probably in hindsight what has made me truly annoyed and intolerant about my past life.
I took my rejected Consent Order back to mediation rehashed it but did not change the ultimate settlement made a point if proving my house was overvalued by my ex (I was never told to value the FMH) by mediation only my ex was der .... ) but made him admit I had nil earning capicity proved I was consided unable to work etc and reacted another consent order.
Anyhow I have been a member of a gym for many years and a man I have known for many years has asked me to go on a date not for coffee or a glass of wine but he would like to take me out for a dinner we have chatted many times about numerous topics including my crappy divorce he has made a point of saying to me he left me alone while I went through this but he wants to get to know me better.
I still wear my eternity ring as I do not like attention he is fully aware of my medical issues I have borrowed him when I needed a man to get rid if a stalker at my garden center but I think I am probably answered my own question I am not ready for dating.
Sorry but my prefrial vision is rather dim at night and I can''t see an i or a o on my iphone.
Only just seen this message of your''s - no-one could be as horrid as your ex - so I hope you have given this guy a chance and went out with him - he sounds very understanding and patient not to bother you whilst you were going through everything. Hope you had a nice evening and found a new good friend at the least.........?!
Good luck and thank you for all the help and support you have given me - we have things in common as you know.