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Feeling fed up

  • blonde cazza
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19 Jul 14 #440112 by blonde cazza
Topic started by blonde cazza
Lately I feel fed up....I juggle everything and do a bloody good job.I work 5 days a week and look after my son making sure his school work is good and hits his grades which his mocks were very good hit some subjects with A*
I also have to deal with my uncooperative ex
hes unlike any other ill give him that..only today he told our son hes off to a music festival and away for the weekend but still claims he cant afford to take him on holiday.
Only this week ive had to pay out nearly 700 pounds on car repairs and a new water tank and have forked out to take our son on holiday so he gets the break he so needs.

Why are some fathers so selfish they are like this take no responsibility or don''t want to see their children because they prefer to drink them selves silly..

This man doesn''t want contact that''s clearly obvious but it makes me so mad when there are fathers who would do anything for contact with their children.

  • CakesandFlowers
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19 Jul 14 #440116 by CakesandFlowers
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I know you are having a tough time but please do not fall into the trap of blaming your ex for everything that happens. It isn''t his fault that you have had those bills.

You can''t equate going to a music festival for a couple of days as the same thing as going on a holiday. You also can''t force him to go on holiday/take your son on holiday.

If you can''t afford a holiday then you don''t go this year. I desperately need one, haven''t had one for years and have been told that having one would aid my health, however I don''t have the funds to have one.

My partner would love contact with his children however there is no way he can afford to take them on holiday.

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19 Jul 14 #440119 by blonde cazza
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Cakes of course im not blaming him for my bills..my house my bills simple.
What im saying is if he took responsibility for his son then maybe we both benefit for it.
I do school runs both times 5 days a week also attend parents eves etc etc.
ive booked a holiday for less then 80 pounds for half term so doesn''t have to cost a fortune...but you know what if it boiled down to getting drunk or going on a holiday id know which id choose.
Its not the holiday which grates me but the sheer fact he doesn''t even bother to do something special with his son when he does have him xx

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19 Jul 14 #440125 by CakesandFlowers
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What you have to accept is that it is his choice to make. You prioritise a holiday, he prioritises getting drunk. You can''t make him spend his money on a holiday.

You can''t change that.

It is frustrating I get that, all you can do is see that that is who he is and manage the way you respond to it.

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19 Jul 14 #440126 by blonde cazza
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yeah I guess so.Its just frustrating when he says he cant see his son because of that and seeing my son get hurt time and time again hurts me as his mum.
Next Tuesday is his dads birthday so I would of thought he would of wanted to his see son to take to see his grand dad for his birthday but hey like you said you have to see him for who he is.
I would of thought at the age of 44 he would be more responsible and not try and relive his youth and lose out on our sons childhood.
Thanks though cakes for your advise and I hope you get your holiday...im off to camber sands change of scene is a good as a rest so they say.xx

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19 Jul 14 #440128 by Shoegirl
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Cazza, when are you going to accept your ex for who he is?

You don''t have to like it, but for your own sake you need to accept it because you can''t change it.

I am simply amazed that there is still an expectation from you that this man will do what you think he should do or ought to. He won''t. Whether it''s right or wrong is not really the point. It is what it is.

He won''t parent in the way you expect him to. It is time to focus on you not what he is doing, how much he is drinking, whether he is reliving his youth or not etc. Thats for him.

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19 Jul 14 #440129 by blonde cazza
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I understand what you are saying Shoegirl.
I do focus on me but to be angry is natural especially when he is treating the lad so bad.
Me im tired but smiling but ok.

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