No wee on the toilet seat
No daily farting/phlegming
Smaller food bill
Yes, a cleaner house
A calmer quieter nicer house with some laughter and visitors (not had that for a while!)
'have you seen my..' drove me nuts
Control of the remote - finally chick flicks without moans!
I feel like a phoenix from the flames - mildly panicking at the shock but, in time ...
A whole new year is just around the corner now for you to discover many more advantages to a life free to be whoever you want to be, have the house just as you like it and opportunities to put some fun back in your life.
Wishing you all that you wish for yourselves in 2018.
Had to laugh at the car key comment. For some reason my x had a whole kitchen to place her handbag but chose to place them on top of my car keys.
Ah the male perspective ?
Going into the bathroom to be confronted with the basics and not 366 bottles of something or other.
No blocked plumbing from hair.
No trolling around shops for hours looking for that item which will never be used or worn.
No being dragged to 'wonderful' xmas at her relatives. This had 2 benefits. Firstly no buying loads of presents for her large family who were so tight fisted that I was lucky to get anything . I was given a pack of unwrapped dates once. Or in my poor daughters case an 'oh yours will be in the post' and nothing ever arrived.
No walking into a house thats so hot you could walk around naked.
Being able to mow the lawn or some other job outside and then having to stand outside until the washed floor had dried. (did it have to be washed just then ?)
No more replacing electrical appliances after being overloaded, incorrectly used or just dropped on the floor.(6 irons one year)
No more dealing with irate drivers, police, insurance companies after bending the car.
No more keeping up with her mates by having a new car, new kitchen, new bathroom , new carpets etc just because they are in vogue this year.
But just like the OP I can do what I want, when I want with whom I want. And no glaring at me if I talk platonic female friends.
I came home from work one day to find my x in a panic. Apparently the police wanted her documents and she couldn't find them. So we went to the police station. What happened there is a long story but I got her off the charge due to a technicality but they had enough to charge and possibly ban her.
Apparently she had belted a car in a car park and driven off. Her excuse which she had made up was that after a training course her and another friend from the training course had popped in for a drink.
One of the conditions of getting off the charge was to pay for the other car repairs. So off I trot and hand over the cost and take the sheer abuse from the other owner.
It later transpired that there was no training course and she had spent the day in a hotel room with a neighbour and was probably over the limit..thus the driving off.
Did I feel stupid when I found out !!!
Or the time she ran into roadworks flattening the warning signs !!!
Oh there must be some similar if not funnier situations from other posters !!