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Not quite as new as I thought I was.

  • Strawberrypimms
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11 months 2 weeks ago #508624 by Strawberrypimms
Not quite as new as I thought I was. was created by Strawberrypimms
I've been on my own two and a half years now, built a new and happy life and felt I was healing slowly.
Trapped in a marriage I had slowly faded into a shadow of who I used to be until the eventual realisation of what was happening to me hit home.
I won't go into details but it seems my husband had been living a double life for years, one so shocking it made the ptsd I was struggling with much worse.
My kids and friends all agreed I must leave and helped me find a new home 80 miles away.
Counselling has helped and I have gradually pushed him out of my life. I feel much cleaner for it.
I know I will never risk a relationship again but knew he would, but I felt it wouldn't bother me at all.
This week I was told he has met someone, not only does she resemble me, she has the same name and lives a mere five miles away.
I was horrified because I have avoided him purposely and now having created my new life he feels way too close.
It doesn't feel like jealousy either, all I can think about is the poor woman is going to perhaps end up mentally destroyed as I was.
The simple answer would be to move, but I have a business I created here, love my new life and the thought of starting again fills me with horror.
Nor can I really afford it.
Any tips on how I come to terms with this, I have to see him occasionally due to family matters but it always affects me badly afterwards, now the thought of randomly meeting them is making me feel ill.
As the title says, I have realised the new me still retains the horrors of the old me no matter how I try!

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11 months 2 weeks ago #508635 by Nottoolate
Replied by Nottoolate on topic Re:Not quite as new as I thought I was.
That sounds really hard. I don't really have anything useful to say, but I wonder if it has triggered the old emotions from when you were struggling in a difficult/traumatising relationship?

It might help to see a councillor again to help proces the triggered emotions so you can resume your much happier place?

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11 months 2 weeks ago #508636 by Strawberrypimms
Replied by Strawberrypimms on topic Re:Not quite as new as I thought I was.
Thank you, yes seeing a counsellor should help, I'm going to ring her tomorrow. I'll

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