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Unbelievable People and Community

  • NewDawnNewLife
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27 Jan 11 #248096 by NewDawnNewLife
Topic started by NewDawnNewLife
Hi guys,

Just wanting to sing the praises of the Wikivorce site and the people on it.

Wife left me and the kids over Christmas Period when I discovered she's been having an affair for several years. She moved in with the guy within 10 minutes, and has been there since. Those first few days, I just wondered how I'd cope. Me a single parent? I never ever saw that coming!

I'd just like to thank everyone, and a few people in particular that I've been in contact with via private messaging (you know who you are) over the last few weeks. You've been an unbelievable comfort to me.

The support & advice I've gained from reading the forum and realising I'm not alone etc. has been a massive help to me.

There really are some unbelievable individuals in this community, and I'm sure there'll be no end of people who will agree that the community itself is a magnificent idea.

I'm sure you'll understand when I say, that I hope I never have the need to recommend this site to any friends or family, but if anyone finds themselves in this unfortunate situation, this is definitely the place to visit.

Thanks again to everyone who has been of assistance to me so far, I'm a long way off getting over this (at the minute, I wonder whether I ever will?) but by reading all of your experiences and advice, you have all helped me take the first steps and I'm particularly grateful for that.

Thanks very much.

  • NellNoRegrets
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27 Jan 11 #248107 by NellNoRegrets
Reply from NellNoRegrets
Couldn't agree more. This site stopped me losing my mind two years ago.

I was lucky enough to go to a Wikimeet and made some fantastic friends that day. It helped me feel normal again.

  • CM*
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27 Jan 11 #248123 by CM*
Reply from CM*
That sounded a bit like a goodbye speech New Dawn.
F me I hope not.
Come back and say hello.

Some people here scare the Hell out of me. One may have no heating, another may be scared and so on.

I so wish that however they solved it, they would just send a message, "I'm ok," will do fine.

Lately I opened my home to someone. I was here waiting, only to find she had gone to her brother's house
That was fine and good. If only I'd known, I wouldn't have worried.
The person in question was not one of wiki's members.

  • NewDawnNewLife
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28 Jan 11 #248185 by NewDawnNewLife
Reply from NewDawnNewLife

Definitely not a Goodbye Speech, I'm gonna need a hell of a lot more support, and where better to get it than here.

Can't visit the site as much as I'd like to at the minute, what with all the "new" activities I have...........housework etc! As a new single parent family we were dropped in from a very high height, basically we were waited on hand and foot as regards laundry duties. Now apparently, not saying ANYTHING about this situation and how unhappy it made my wife, is justification for having a succession of affairs, including the current long term relationship? I can understand totally that we didn’t help washing clothes, ironing and vacuuming, but we were never given a chance to change. No opportunity to go to Relate, or anything like that. Never mind!

Within no time we’re actually better organised as a family than we were previously. Ironing isn’t such a big deal, I’ve got the hang of that a lot quicker than I thought, although it does take me a while to iron a shirt, but practice makes perfect.

I know what you mean about scary stories, and I suppose that is part of my rehabilitation? I.e. realising that, yeah we’re in a bad place, but we need to count our blessings, because it could be a whole lot worse!!

  • dukey
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28 Jan 11 #248200 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Its great to hear your finding the site helpful New many do but its always nice when a member says so.

Anyway top tip for ironing dress shirts, sling them in a tumble dryer with a damp tea towel for five minutes and when they come out they are dead easy to iron.

One other, are you aware of the culinary delite that is the pot noodle? three minutes to cook and no washing up to do, on Sundays i like to serve it on a plate with a sprig on something green, don`t use grass though it ruins the taste of the accompanying beer.

  • NewDawnNewLife
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28 Jan 11 #248220 by NewDawnNewLife
Reply from NewDawnNewLife
Thanks Dukey, I'll give the ironing tip a go.

As I think I mentioned, it was really just the laundry duties and perhaps dusting & hoovering that my wife was solely responsible for (yeah, I appreciate it's probably wrong now, but it's too late!), but as I say, it's came as a massive shock to all of us that this was a big issue, because there was never any warning, that this was such a massive burdon upon my wife. Or is this just excuses to ease her guilt?

I've always helped with preparing meals, washing dishes etc, and not wanting to appear arrogant, but I'm as good a cook as she is(or is that was?), so the pot noodles probably wont be getting an airing, but I might get some in for emergency purposes!!

Thanks again

  • Mitchum
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28 Jan 11 #248300 by Mitchum
Reply from Mitchum
I never wanted this divorce and its effects will be with me always, but like you I thank goodness I had wiki friends alongside me.

I've met the most amazing people and in normal cirucmstances our paths would never have crossed.

That's not saying I'm glad I'm getting divorced otherwise I wouldn't have met them, but it makes you think doesn't it?

It shows that there are a lot of good people in our society and just when you're at your lowest it's a comfort that people are concerned about you.

I have no idea why/how the comfort and support of total strangers can do this but I'm living proof that it works!

Hope things continue to improve for you too.

Mitchum x

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