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confused

  • mollymay
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10 years 11 months ago #136066 by mollymay
confused was created by mollymay
Hi My name is Sarah.

I need some advice. Me and my partner have been married for 23 years. We havent been together for 3 years in september.

He is American and he lived and worked here in the UK for 14 years.
We had to sell are family home just over 3 years ago. We got into alot of debt and we had to sell up.

He went too visit his family in the states not long after this , it was for 2weeks, but he never returned. He had a return ticket.

I knew things wasnt great but i always thought he would come back to either work it out. But he didnt. He left his 2 children too.

He says that he waited for me to wake up and too move out there.

But this was something i couldnt do.

For one the children was happy with there lives here.
Plus i lived out there along time ago and i never wanted my children to have there child hood there.

To cut the long story short.

He has now sent divorce papers to me. I dont know what to do. He wants to pay child support of 500 a month. Which he has done for the past 8 months. He should of been paying and helping from when he left but he didnt and i just let it go.

His lawyer has stated that im intitled to keep everything here and what he has there he keeps.

We never had anything when he left. Know money together or home. Just pieces of furniture.

I still have some off his debt here. £15.000.

He has 10% of family farm and started his own trucking business.Would i be intilted to any of this. My income is 1500 a month wheres hes is around 4000 a month.

Ive found it hard to keep a roof over childrens head and to provide them with everything they need. We have got there but it was hard.

My son know longer depends on me as he is 21 now.

But my daughter is 18 in september and in full time education.
He says he will pay till shes 18 then nothing after.

My life was my kids. I always worked but could never go for promotions or anything like that, because i would need to be there for the children with school and after school activities.

I wouldnt change that. Because they came first. Are standard of living for my children and myself is nothing like it was when we was together.

I just want someone to tell me too either just sign the papers and get on with my life without any support from him, or fight for something more from him.

I just feel confused. I never thought that it would come too this. In the back of mind i thought we would be together again.

He did this 17 years ago for 2 years. Then came back.

What should i do ?

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10 years 11 months ago #136110 by NellNoRegrets
Replied by NellNoRegrets on topic Re:confused
Yours is a long marriage and the starting point for division of assets would be 50:50. Is your husband using English courts to divorce, because American divorce law is different?

I'd say its worth asking for maintenance etc because if you don't ask you won't get it. It will be up to you whether you think it worth pursuing if he doesn't agree.

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10 years 11 months ago #136399 by mollymay
Replied by mollymay on topic Re:confused
Thank you very much for replying to me and giving me your advice.

He has filed for divorce from lawyer in states.
I will seek lawyer here and see what i can do.

Thank you

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