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What about a forum - how to step back from divorce

  • JulesW
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12 Oct 07 #4655 by JulesW
Topic started by JulesW
I am new to this and it may be wrong to suggest that a divorce wiki has a forum on how to avoid divorce. I know it's rather like a toll road having signs on how to avoid using it!

But everyone (to a large extent) seem to have been injured by the process and hated it. The support the site offers is great but is there room to have a forum on how to avoid going further down the slippery slope?

It could involve counselling, opening up communication, alternative ways of avoiding the issues which make the divorce seem inevitable. You may end up making the same decision and following the same process but at least you have both made every effort to reach a solution.

Perhaps I am being naive here, but what do you think?

Thanks for your time


  • jasmine
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12 Oct 07 #4668 by jasmine
Reply from jasmine
I think you are right it would be a good idea. The only problem is most of the people on this site are with partners who believe divorce is the answer and start the proceedings. Once you are in the system the solicitors actions, delaying tatics etc wedge the gap between couples wider. Till everyone gets thoroughly pissed off and wants it done and dusted.
I think there should be a wikikids site so that our children can blog what they really feel.
Then maybe the partners that wont make an effort to try will think about the long term consequences of their actions.

  • Shelia
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13 Oct 07 #4678 by Shelia
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All information and comments are useful, which is what makes this site so good.

Not everyone who visits is past the point of no return, but those that have the answers to avoiding divorce I would imagine are not members, and probably holding hands gazing into their loved one's eyes:) Lucky them:)

Lovely idea, perhaps making a relationship work second time around maybe more suitable for ths site? But I suspect that there is no avoiding heartbreak it goes with the package of falling in love.

Love to all


  • JulesW
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13 Oct 07 #4682 by JulesW
Reply from JulesW
Thanks for the comments. Looking back perhaps avoiding divorce was the wrong phrase. I had something more along the lines of 'stepping back from divorce' or even 'open up communications - it may not save this marriage but it may help the next'.

As I say I am new to this whole D word.

Thanks for taking the time to read.


  • Sera
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17 Oct 07 #4843 by Sera
Reply from Sera
Hi Jules,
I totally agree with you, Stepping Back is not an option when you are cattled-prodded and herded by solicitors to answer, by courts to meet deadlines, and are being bullied into going along with your soon2beEx's whims.

I asked my x2b to go to counseling, to exhaust all other avenues BEFORE going to a solicitor - which should be a last resort.

I think therapy ought to be compulsary for all divorcing couples. Then the bitterness is hopefully gone before the Financial flogging starts.

I'd need a Magic Wand to cure anything now. He was at least being a bit civil until his legal people started telling him how to conduct his relationship with me.

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