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Do I have to let him in?

  • stressedandsad
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21 Jan 08 #11387 by stressedandsad
Topic started by stressedandsad
My x2b was asked to leave after what I found out about him when I gave him the divorce letter. I asked for the key and he gave it due to his shock at being discovered and went to his parents. He returned the following day to colect items that i had washed, ironed and packed neatly. He snatched the keys and tried to take them, I got hurt in the process of getting them back. My sol started an injunction due to his behaviour. He turned up 2 weeks ago and I opened the door to him barging in saying he was moving back and that was final. It all got very nasty and he finally left but I had to get my dad to help. He has asked for some personal possessions via his solicitor and I have no problem with him having them. I offered to give him the things via my car at a friends house. He is adament that he wants to pick them up from the house as he might want to look at things. I am so worried that he won't leave when he comes and will cause trouble. After what he has done I don't particularly want to let him in.
Can anyone help?

  • mike62
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21 Jan 08 #11388 by mike62
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What happened with solicitor's injunction?

  • Monitor441
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21 Jan 08 #11389 by Monitor441
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Can you agree to let him in to pick up his stuff if you have your Dad there and he has one of his parents there. With each of you having a parent there, he is less likely to kick off. Don't suggest just your Dad as he may feel it is two against one

Mon

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21 Jan 08 #11393 by stressedandsad
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That is a good idea but he has lied to his parents about why we are getting divorced and does not want me to see his parents in case I tell them the truth about him - he is much happier telling them a load of rubbish and thinks it will never come out?
Can I leave the things outside the front door for him to collect?

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21 Jan 08 #11400 by Monitor441
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You have to remember that it is his house too and there will be things in there he may have forgotten about and would like to take with him. When I separated with my ex2b, her father came round to be with her and I was on my own and I was bullied into not taking stuff. There was some stuff that was mine that I forgot and even though I have asked for it, she has just ignored any request.

Offer him to have your Dad and one of his parents and he can accept it or decline it. You may want to move stuff that you don't want him to take so that it is not around - small stuff that he may forget - but disguise the fact stuff is not there by changing the furniture around in rooms. If he asks why you have done it, say as you needed to change things to help you move on

Mon

  • Josh2008
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22 Jan 08 #11409 by Josh2008
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Yes it is his house as well, but he hasn't behaved veru adulty and it appears he is just using excuses to get back in or is in some sort of denial.

When you got hurt was that totally out of character, if so then that will almost not happen again, but if he has a fiery temper, you do need to protect yourself.

You don't mention having changed the locks if not why can't he just call when you are not there and collect his stuff...

If you've changed the locks that may explain the 'force' he is using to keep coming back, that will or should subside given a couple of weeks or so

If you don't let him have some sway things could get more difficult

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