My husband announced in September last year that he had been having an affair for 9 months and promptly moved out lock stock and barrel in less than 24 hours. We had been married for 24 years and 11 months. He was the primary earner earning in excess of £1500 net most months plus some expenses which I never even saw. I suffer from panic attacks and agoraphobia and can only travel very limited distances and work part time locally around the corner.
We have a big and long mortgage left - £71,000 outstanding with 23 years still left to pay on it.
He has agreed to pay the mortgage and essential utilities for the moment, £675 a month. I have no idea how long he will pay that for, so every month I feel like I am in limbo in case it doesnt appear in the bank.
We have 2 grown children, 22 and 17 who live at home and contribute but it is still their home as well as mine.
With my earning capability compared to his, and my disability and inability to work more hours, what are the chances I could get spousal support just for the mortgage for the remainder of the mortgage ? with it being so long still to run on it.
He is a civil servant with 27 years of pension so that would likely equate to any equity in the house. I would be willing to give up my share in his pension if he would let me keep the house but he still needs to pay for the mortgage as I cant possibly manage to pay for it all on my salary, even with childrens contributions.
I cant really work out the Divorce Calculator as I have no idea what he is paying to live with this woman who he moved in with, nor do I have any idea how much his pension is worth in monetary value to put up against the house to work anything out.
Does anyone have any advice or had any experience of this kind of thing themselves ? When I got some advice from a solicitor right back in October the day after he left, she said my best bet was to just stay as I was now, with him paying the mortgage for as long as possible, as she said any judge would just order the house sold.
But if that were the case I would literally be homeless as I would not be eligible to get a council house with grown children and couldnt possibly afford to rent privately.
I hate feeling I am just waiting for him to decide how long he wants this to go on for, if I really thought I could get him to pay spousal maintenance I would go for a divorce now, but I could just stir things up andbe worse off than I am now.
So sorry this is so long.
I'm so sorry for some reason I seem to have posted this twice and didnt see your reply.
I just posted to myself again asking for help, sorry.
You have really worried me now, I really thought that his pension might counteract the house. We in effect only have £35,000 equity each, I couldnt buy or rent anything for that. Is a court likely to order SM for the remainder of the mortgage based on my disability ?
Also, with my agoraphobia, I cant get anywhere to look at anything. Will the court take any of this into account ?