New to the boards so first can I say Hi to all. I met my current partner in December 2006. He left his wife after 28 years of marriage (of his own accord and not for me). Since I started seeing my partner she has jumped on the fact that he is with me. Divorce proceedings started in January last year (she started these and they were not contested in any way). He has 2 daughters who are both grown up and married. He worked throughout the marriage and provided for her and the kids financially. As the kids got older he asked her to get a job so they could have a better standard of living she always told him that he earned enough so why should she. The points at which I need clarification are as below:-
1. She has a cake business and never declared much of the income from this. She has admitted she has run this "hobby" as she calls it since 2002. She never declared full income to the tax man and hid most of the money away.
2. Since the separation she is now feigning every illness known to man as an excuse of her being unable to work.
3. She says she is full time caring for her parents and cannot get a job due to the hours needed to care for them a week. This was not done at all through the marriage.
4. We paid all the bills for her until May of last year so giving her time to sort herself out financially. She did nothing.
5. The property was put on the market and sold. She has taken evey bit of furniture etc. The money from this £80k plus is being held until settlement is reached.
6. mediation was entered into in February last year (costing my partner £150.00 per session, costing her nothing (Legal Aid) and also at her request. All was going well until the mediator asked her how she was going to support herself. She then pulled out!!
7. She has taken all the joint savings and spent them. She also has the family car.
We have wanted to be fair with her from the outset but her demands are so exessive even our solicitor is left aghast. She wants all the money from the property £80+, the car, the savings, all chattles from the property, half my partners pension and also a monthly allowance.
She will not settle for anything less and we are now going for Final Hearing at the end of February. Our solicitor bill is just under £6k as well. She is on Legal Aid. My partners solicitor has even asked him to contemplate bankrupcy as her demands are so steep. There is only herself to look after!!
My partner and I are trying to rebuild shattered lives (on both sides) and I am worried sick that we will not be able to pay for her demands. I have a daughter under 10 how, obviously, needs looking after. I certainly feel I should not have to work to support her when she clearly will not work, has no intention of working and expects to still live off her ex-husband.
Any advice would be welcome. Sorry for the long rant.
youl find that the anwer is for her to dream on, we have had a memeber here in the very same boat as you and the person who was doing the demanding ended up being the looser big time in costs and the final out come in court. if money is tight then ask questions here and youl get some good advice on how to handle things.
Thank you so much you have really cheered me up. As is the last year both of our fathers died within 2 days of each other. My partner could not even go to his own father's funeral as she has turned all of the family against him with her amateur dramatics and crocodile tears.
His Final Hearing is on 27 February 208 which is stressful enough but before that we have to go through a 3 day Crown Court hearing with my 9 year old as chief witness and a minimum of 15 year sentance against the defendent. They person concerned is already on remand for Child Witness Intimidation. So as you can see having to deal with the Ex wife and all her stupid demands really is quite low down on the scale of things. I am by no way be-littling the situation my partner and her are in.
My partner's x2b is also demanding everything he has and then some -
Apparently he can keep what he needs for essential outgoings and everything else should be given to her. This is despite the fact that she works. Unfortunately, beacuse they have two young children, I am getting extremely concerned that she won't be told to "dream on", and that she will get more than we can afford to pay her, meaning my child will miss out in the long run.
I completely agree on the don't cohabit before financial settlement - I have got to the point where my relationship with my partner is going to have to end, because I can't afford to live with him and pay her what she is asking (yes, my salary doesn't come into it, but it does since it is offset against his outgoing needs), and frankly don't see why I should have to.
I hope you get a resolution to your problem, please let me know what the court says. We have the FDR week after next, at which she is refusing to negotiate, so will see how that goes. I am expecting this to go to FH and probably beyond!