A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

clean break order or absolute - which one first

  • yferch
  • yferch's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
15 Jan 08 #10764 by yferch
Topic started by yferch

Hope someone can advise me.

I am doing the divorce all by myself.

I had my nisi end of Dec and my absolute can be submitted very soon.

The ex ignores all my correspondence (had to bailiff him papers) and has not responded to my polite letter by recorded delivery asking him nicely to agree and sign a Clean Break Consent Order and forms to submit with my absolute. I think I am going to have to persue this order via ancilliary relief means.

My question is, should I put in the absolute, complete my divorce and then resolve the clean break and ancilliary relief

OR should I wait and not complete the absolute until I resolve the clean break order I want through ancilliary relief.

Look forward to the forums response. Thanks

  • mike62
  • mike62's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
15 Jan 08 #10765 by mike62
Reply from mike62
Well done for doing it all on your own so far!

Definitely resolve financials before absolute

Best of luck


  • peteringout
  • peteringout's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
15 Jan 08 #10775 by peteringout
Reply from peteringout

Doing stuff on my own too. Wife has a lawyer and I am seriously worried about the adice she is being given (for her sake). I have provided full financial diaclosure as is required. What worries me is am I missing something? So just awaiting next letter from him.


  • attilladahun
  • attilladahun's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
16 Jan 08 #10779 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
No leave absolute until order made....you are still a wife and if H dies you are entitled to a decent claim to his estate...(the widows speculative loss)

Tell him that if costs are incurred in getting the same order unnecessarily because he refuses to co operate and sign a consent order you will reserve your position to claim costs if he later agrees to the same order and thus as such is "litigation conduct"

Technically it isn't but it may shake him up...but if DJ at FDR says your offer was reasonable from the start and he still refused to settle and it went to a final hrg you would definitely be in with a shout of persuading a DJ he should pay some costs despite the new rules on costs ie no costs v the other side -DJ can depart from the presumption if it is thought H is being a herbert!!

  • loobyloo
  • loobyloo's Avatar
  • Visitor
  • Visitor
16 Jan 08 #10793 by loobyloo
Reply from loobyloo
peter hi
gotmy nisi back in june and as gone through the a/r process (awaiting date for fh) my sol has not applied for absolute as need to sort and settle finances first, its a pain when you want to move on
I am actually surprised my x2b,s super hot shot barrage of legal eagles havent advised him to apply..or..maybe thats my next surprise

  • Josh2008
  • Josh2008's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
16 Jan 08 #10801 by Josh2008
Reply from Josh2008
As above have stated, leave the absolute until you sort out the finances.

As you x2b is ignoring everything, put in a claim for ancillary relief for A, you need to send in up to 4 copies of form D81, if there is no mortgage on any property claim then you only need to send in 3 copies of D81

Link to form A

Link to form D81


Link to all divorce forms online:-


Once you apply for ancillary relief, the court must first serve a copy on your x2b within 4 days

The court will make a first appointment not less than 12 weeks after filing, but not more than 16 weeks after.

This gives both parties sufficient time to complete and send in their form E, very in depth and pertinent document.

I would also suggest that you set out in a letter to your x2b exactly what you expect in way of financial relief, but head the letter:

Without prejudice save as to costs

This letter or offer is know as a 'calderbank letter' and should not be used as evidence in a court as it could sway the judge’s decision, should it go that far.

Now let’s say that your offer to settle is 50/50 split of all assets and your x2b wants 60%, if the decision ends by the judge deciding and the judge decides that it is a 50/50 split, you can now produce the letter and state that is what you had offered since xyz date.

In this situation the judge will order your x2b to pay all of your costs from the date of the offer letter.

A Calderbank letter should be pitched so as to anticipate what a judge might decide, it is very difficult for a 'lay' person to second guess, but it's worth the effort.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Orders from £359

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.