seem to have got through the emotional difficulty of whats going on and need to crack on with getting it sorted out for the benefit of the children.
due mainly to lack of money - i will be attmepting to organise as much as possible myself and currently we are still amicble (however christmas was extremely difficult) and as we have to live together for the foreseeable near future, i hope it stays this way.
I am lookign for clues on how to apply my various options so i can create a list of what we can do and how it will effect us. I have just got hold of the Which guide and i believe there is a dummies guide too, but haven't seen this in the bookshops.
I have my first mediation session on monday and would like to have got somewhere in how we intend to move forwards.
are there any suitable resources for telling me how to work it all out?? books/websites. this one has been pretty invaluable so far.
i am particularly interested in how Mesher Orders work and how best to work out pension splitting. also benefits available to both and how they effect each other? i am still full of probably basic questions like, do both of us claim child benefit on 50:50 care? should i get my child benefit paid to other half and then could i deduct it from my maintenace?
on mesher orders... do i still have to pay all of hte mortgage / part of mortgage while 'keeping my interest' in the property. will she benefit for it while an order is placed on it??
can I get assistance to move out?? i dont get legal aid currently.
perhaps we should just sell the house and start again. blah blah... i am waffling now! yours.
I know a former couple with two children who live with each parent on alternate weeks. One claims child benefit for each child. If they are still primary school age it is worth having the parent who lives nearest the secondary school you want them to go to claim for the elder one as it gives you a better chance of getting them in - where you live for school place purposes is taken from the address to which you child benefit goes. Same applies if they are both below school age for primary schooling.
capital, with complete sell off of everything and settling of debt i estimate 20k max - no savings at all, no shares, no additional property ( i do have 1/6 of house which my father lives in in spain. however couldn't possible liquidate it! and have signed all power of attorney over to him anyway, so its currently worthless to me)
me inc = 19500 pa (+3k bonus not always received, however i did get it last year so is on my current P60, not sure whether it will be on this years yet).
wife inc = estimated @ 5k pa. she is agency teacher, a job we both agreed would fit in with the fact she didn't want to work but had to and allowed her to still pick up and drop off kids in school. its means she can skip work at the drop of a hat.
Pensions = not sorted out how this bit works yet. but i suspect there isn't anything there to worry about. i have 2 pensions, the main one which i do not pay into any longer is this. total contributions = 2318.13, value of funds = 13557.93 leaving annual pension in 2030 of 1250pa. my other pension i have only been with for 9 months so not even had a statement back yet.
i am going for 50/50 share of children but pragmatically understand that with only 23 days annual leave cannot even cover half of their school holidays, however that is one of the reasons why i am in the job i am in and the job she is in. so which we may well agree to a symbolistic split care, it will probably work out as 60/40. we have informally arranged 2 nights each a week plus alternate weekends (50/50) but i cannot get them from school on my work days and leave too early in the morning too.