I am currently on good terms with wife still and she agrees to go 50/50 on house/finances. We do have two boys aged 4 and 7. I will pay CM at a fair rate too and have custody at least 3 days/nights a week.
We don't really now need to enter into mediation as we both have agreed on everything, but I am concerned as to how to get this rubber stamped the best way as don't want her changing mind later on or saying she didn't get good legal advice etc etc.
Can we apply for divorce and perhaps visit a solicitor together? I just don't want her going to one on her own then changing mind and going for what she can, which seems to happen in many cases.
50/50 is fair in this case as we have a lot of equity and surely as she agrees too, then can a judge really say its not fair and award her more when we divorce?
What you say seems superficially fair and reasonable, but I have to make the point ( as any solicitor would make ) that it is impossible to offer proper advice about your finances without a full and complete disclosure on both sides.
There is absolutely nothing wrong in you coming to an amicable agreement with your wife. But you are right in getting the agreement embodied in a Court order, for the reasons you say. child maintenance is determined by a statutory formula and is therefore not negotiable. In principle what you do is make an application to the Court, which has to be supported by a statement of your means ( both yours and your wife's ). If the judge thinks it's fair he/she will sign it off, but it is, I think, possible that you could be called in to see the judge if he/she has any specific points of concern. A Court will not consent to an order unless satisfied the agreement is a fair one.
In reply to your query I feel virtually certain that no solicitor would accept instructions from both of you jointly. The only possible exception could be a solicitor who is also a mediator. I would try your local divorce court registry for further advice as to procedure.
Thanks for your reply, I am still not really sure how to start all of this without getting a knock back. I think even a mediation solicitor will push for more of a 60/40 break, even if she agrees, thing is we only be married a few years and I had house already and basically paid for it all (not that courts see it like that) but at least she does see this and doesn't want bad feeling.
I think from doing a lot of reading (not personal experience yet) that you can get the agreement drawn up at the mediators - go to a family law sol together and explain the agreement and that you would like this to be drawn up, signed and presented to the court who would ratify the agreement.