This is my first post on this board, though I registered a couple of days ago.
I am a similar age, 42, hubby 44, and we've been married 21 years. He left 4 weeks ago tonight and I too am terrified. I have got a solicitor because I had no choice, but have not had the petition yet.
The reason I am replying to you, is because of the similar situation with your daughter. Mine is 14- also have a son 20- but she also thinks Dad is wonderful and I am the villain in all this, and I'm terrified that she will just see things not as they are and opt to live with him. I have been with her 24/7 this week after picking her up from school for cutting herself, not him- me- he's just carried on with his life and pushed it to one side as attention seeking.
He left the family home after a row and went to his Dad's, and I'm trying so hard to be nice to him, even to persuade him to come back till she's old enough and live separate lives , but he's having none of it. But the kids don't see that, they take you/me for granted probably as always, and I was always the one to disciplins as he works long hours etc, etc.
Anyway, very similar issues with work, property, income , pension etc., but not quite as high, but very similar in any case.
Hope we can help each other, and also have support- nice to post and look forward to being part of this community
BTW have also had horses, but not anymore, they were too much of a commitment, which is just saying I understand that bit as well