New to divorce, and need advise!!

Hi to all, and what a great site. Im glad i found it!!
Well let me start. Last week i got myself a soliciter, to start divorce proceedings against my hubby. He is being rather unreasonable and just not willing to sit and talk it out, so i got myself one. Hes rather hacked off about this now, as he didnt think id go through with it.
However, the other day, he went and transfered £21,000 out of our joint account, without saying anything to me. I hit the roof!!! We have an 8yr son in the middle of this, and im trying to sort this out with him amicably, but hes starting to play games.
Last nite i asked him to put the money back into the account, or give me half, and got nowhere. My question is... can i find out where the money has been transfered too?? Im furious as ive recently had to give up work because of him, whilst hes earning pots of cash? I would like to try and come to some arrangment with him, and intend approaching him again tonite over it, however if hes not willing then what choice do i have but to carry on with my soliciter.

Weenie,

We are very glad you found us and delighted that you like the site.

The 'games' you describe you husband playing with money are not unusual. Your first and best option is to talk some sense into him. To get him to play fair.

As back-up you need to know, and may wish to make him aware, that:
- it may be a rough ride, but at the end of the day family law in England is very fair to the mum who looks after the kid and your should get a workable settlement.
- if he does not voluntarily support you financially during the process you can apply for interim spousal maintenance.
- as long as your marriage was longer than a year or two then in normal circumstances (there are some exceptions) the assets that you each own are matrimonial assets (house, cars, savings)....so you are very likely entitled to half of that 21,000
- if he squanders the money it would go against him in the divorce settlement
- if he buys something with the money, you will be entitled to claim a share of whatever that is
- he cannot really hide the money as you im sure can produce a bank statement, showing it was taken out

So basically, he can play silly buggers for now - but it will all be sorted out in the financial settlement.

Hi Wiki

Just a follow up to your prev post,

Did you mean to say that English Law is very fair to the "parent" with care of the kid rather than the "mum"?

I am the dad with care of my son and am hoping that Englsih Law will treat me just as fairly as dad, as it would if I was "mum" with care.

Are you saying this is correct, or would it be discrimintave because I am male and typically the female has care of the kids?

Dockley,

Yup - you got me on that one. I guess I said mum as I was replying to a mum - but i should have said 'parent'.

Thanks Wiki.
Well im feeling much better already for that advice. Just didnt have a clue were to go next, or what to do. Yes i can still check our joint account online, and its shows the money transfer to where ever it went. Apart from that we have a joint mortgage too, and he says i can have my home back when he starts his new job down south at the end of this month. Hes currently in our home with our son, and im at my parents home next door but one to him. I couldnt take him as im on the sofa, and thought it best all round he stays in the home as hes been through enough. I see him everyday, and get to stay with him odd nights, so thats working out okay so far.
Will chat to him tonight as i say over the money, and secondly our home and mortgage!!!

Well ive spoken to the hubby. Hes now concerned about the CSA!! He has asked if we could sort this out between us without the csa getting involved. He also mentioned about making maintance payments to me for loss of earnings due to me having to give up work because of him. Im not sure if this is a good move or not, and besides, how do you work that one out??
He wants also keep the endownments as part of the deal too!! These total about £40,000 i think. The reason being he said id have my home back soon, but he needs that money to start afresh and find himself somewhere?
I have arranged for mediation for us this week, so will see how that turns out.
Also just a quick one. Does anyone know if im entitled to Legal Aid, if claiming Jobseekers Allowance?

Short answer to your question is that, if you are getting Jobseekers Allowance, you should automatically qualify for legal help.

However you should be aware that in most cases ' legal help ' can be a loan, rather than an outright gift ! A solicitor can - and I think is professionally obliged to - ensure you are aware of this.

I think you are on the right lines in seeking mediation, but I also think there is some merit in the idea of getting some legal advice on your own account as to the likely shape of any financial settlement. This will give you an idea as to what you can expect and will provide a yardstick against which you can judge any proposals that emerge during the mediation process.

Mike100468