Thanks for that Dockley.
Just to explain...
There is no caveat that I need to stay in the fmh until the youngest is 18. I would prefer to stay in the house until then simply because my son is about to start his GCSE's and having spoken to friends who have "come out the other side" the biggest thing they regret is giving up the fmh. That destabilised the children more than anything in their experience.
However I am being realistic. No one knows what the future holds, and I just want to make sure I am sensible, and covering "what ifs" where possible. I mention moving next year as an example only.
I work 4 full days a week, I dont earn very much, but I am retraining with a view to being able to support myself and our children. I have a two hour commute each day. Without being dreary our mortgage is quite a lot, and after bills I am not left with an awful lot of money. In fact things are quite tight. (I can recommend divorce as a huge incentive to grown your own veg! I've become very fond of my greenhouse!)
My husband has mentioned on more than one occassion that he would prefer the house to be sold - even though he has agreed in principle not to. He has significant debts and his share would ease this. In fact we both took equal share of the debt, however I have had help from family to clear the majority of mine - although I am still paying £100 a month to clear the remainder.
The equity split was agreed because I very much wanted a Clean Break
in the form of him keeping his pensions and I keep the equity. He didnt want this, and he came up with the percentage split, he will get 33% of the equity based on whatever the house is worth at time of sale, and not at present value. His view is he will at least have some money to look forward to in the next 8 years rather than wait till retirement. The pensions will be split at current transfer value.
I feel it very necessary to point out that we are on good terms, but are both under pressure financially and he has lied to me on a number of occassions re money.
If I were to downsize in this area, (I couldnt afford to live near my work) I would need a mortgage only 10k smaller than my existing. (I appreciate utilities will be less) This is why I am concerned. I would still need more than just child maintenance to be able to offer the children a decent standard of living, it would need to be supported with SM. Which in its current format will cease upon sale.
I may not move. Hell I may even get ran over by a bus tomorrow! I am just trying to make sure my future with the children is covered as much as possible and should selling the fmh be a path we have to go down, that we'll be ok. I am finding the responsiblity of making such decisions overwhelming, and am frightened I might be making mistakes as I'm sure everyone in my situation is.
I have spoken to the CSA - It wasnt the best experience in the world and I came off the phone none the wiser although I did learn a lot about the advisors daughter and her company car! It was blue in case you're wondering!
Thank you for reading - I hope I havent drivelled on too much.
Am now going for a much needed glass of wine.