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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


General Advice

  • mr_nice
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11 Feb 08 #13528 by mr_nice
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Hi,

I am going through a divorce its very early stages and its my wife that divorcing me. Currently I am freelance and work for myself, ironically it was financing the lifestyle that led to the divorce !! so we have a large house a good lifestyle, 2 children 8 and 6 and no finacial problems. My wife works 3 days a week and I am working my nuts to bankroll the whole operation. My wife even thinks that she may be able to stay in the house on her own with teh children when the outgoings are £2600 a month.
Anyway I am thinking about to returning to permanent employment which would mean me earning half of what i do now. I will also fold the company and we will probably start to run up debts.

I am a wreck and really want to focuss on the divorce and spend more time with the children in the evenings and not have to travel the country, stay away from home, run my own comapany etc ...

Question - When the final settlement is made surely it will be based on my pay that I am currently on and not on what I have been earning, is that correct ???
Say I was on 100k and now I am 50k then that is all that I will have anyway just the 50k, also what happens in the future IF I decide to return to freelance work can my wife request more money or is it set on the final amount decided at the divorce settlement ???

Ideally when the divorec is over I would like to start giving more money to the children as and when i have it.

Many thanks.

  • IKNOWNOW
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11 Feb 08 #13535 by IKNOWNOW
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I think this calls for a more professional opinion, sorry.

Are some solicitors who answer posts on here, so be patient. Can see your reasoning for wanting to get a permanent job and also to see more of the children. Can you not discuss this with your wife? Money seems to be the route of all evil, so please try and agree things amicably. Your wife may need to look at the bigger picture but a judge may still rule in her favour about keeping the house. Has she checked out what benefits she may be entitled to, like Working Families Tax Credits.

Don't make any rash decisions about jobs and finances.

I wish you luck through all this.

Regards, Sarah

  • dukey
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11 Feb 08 #13538 by dukey
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Hello Mr_nice
Im no expert and you will recive better answers but for what its worth i think the csa base the award for cm on what you earn not what you did earn if in the future you do go back freelance and earn more you must inform the csa and pay more with two children you will pay 20% of your income after tax, sorry icant be of more help ,dukey

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11 Feb 08 #13541 by mr_nice
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Cheers for the replys so far ....

We are trying do this all ammicably buts its gradually going down hill fast.....

She is far better prepered than me, she has time to focus on the months ahead. My wife seems to think that she will stay in the house and has asked me to move out, I am going no where.
Would the courts seriously expect me to pay for her to live in a 5 bedroomed house that costs £2600 to run thats just bills and mortgage for just the 3 of them ??

I really want to be fair, my wife is skilled and could work 5 days a week as both the children are at school, she chooses to work 3.

I am currently in the process of filling out form E.


Thanks

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11 Feb 08 #13549 by dukey
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Hello again please remember the court will put the chrildrens needs above others staying in the FMH and maintaining a pre-divorce lifestyle for them, try to agrea terms with your wife rather than argue, could you sell the fmh wife wifes ageament buy something smaller that you can afford to maintain post divorce and still have some life for yourself
Its early days keep talking and look for solutions rather than problems it will save stress heartache and a huge ammount of money in the long run, dukey

  • mummybear38
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11 Feb 08 #13551 by mummybear38
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Hi Mr Nice,

Don't want to play devils advocate but is it too late for you and your wife to consider the help of Relate ? I only ask because your story sounds much the same as some close friends of mine where hubby was working all hours to fund a very comfortable lifestyle for the family and where wife was very unhappy because hubby was never there. Its catch 22, I suppose. They are still working things through Relate at the moment and I know the wife is very much happier and is even talking about reconciliation and hubby now understands why wife was unhappy. I certainly don't advocate that parents should stay together in misery for the sake of children but in your case if you think your marriage could survive if you were "around" a bit more than surely it is worth the cut in salary.

Something to think about but I agree with IF you really need to seek the advice of a family lawyer. As for child maintenance it is calculated on the last 3 months salary before an application is made and can go up as well as down depending on your circumstances i.e. if your salary decreases you can ask for the CSA to review the amount but similarly if in the future you were to win the lottery for example then your wife could likewise seek a review. At present two children = 20% of your net pay with a deduction of 1/7th for each night and each child that has overnight contact.

I agree with dukey too, try to keep talking regardless of whether you can reconcile or decide to separate and be prepared to compromise without being walked over. Remember even if you and your wife divorce that will never change the fact that you will have a lifetime relationship as mum and dad of two children and believe me if they can't have a mum and dad who live together anymore they will be far happier with a mum and dad who can talk to each other without arguing (easier said than done I know).

Hope wiki helps,

Kind regards,

Jeannie

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12 Feb 08 #13620 by mr_nice
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Jeanine,

Many thnaks for your post, I have tried relate which then turned into me havin councilling and my wife haveing seperate councillling and its sad but its probably relate that finally split us up !!!
Anyway its now dead, time to move on, I spoke to my wife last night and she is concerned that I am manipulating the figures, I just think that she has other ideas, she is conatantly ttrying to push me out of the house and I am not going.
I work away 4 nights a week and I am finding it hard to keep on going, hence the move to a permemenant job on less money. She really does think that she will stay in the house on her own with the 2 children, this is why I want to show that this cannot be the case.
Don't get me wrong I really want the best for everyone, and have no problem with the 20% for the children. At weekends hopefully the children will also stay with me and I expect to see them after school etc....
Its all getting a bit twisted at the moment so I am talking to my solicitor today or tommorow, will keep you posted.
Thanks.

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