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can she claim more sm in the future?

  • Sami
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21 Feb 08 #14587 by Sami
Topic started by Sami
My new partner had verbally agreed on a settlement with his ex, however having been goaded by her solicitor, is now asking for more.

Bit of background (his)

they are both 44
married 22 years
2 children aged 17 and 12
assets of about £500,000,

she hasnt worked since birth of 1st child.
His salary approx £50,000
she can keep the house (which has no mortgage)
various other assets to be split approx 60/40 in her favour
a large % of the assets he will get are tied up financially

he has a pension (the split of which is yet to be agreed)

He is paying her £1350 a month in maintenance (£750 for the children the rest as sm)In addtion she will be getting child benefit and child tax credit.

At the moment he is renting (£800 per month)but we would obviously like to buy together at some point.

the original agreement was that he would pay sm until the youngest child was 16 and she had time to retrain.

She is now saying she wants the sm to be open ended.
She has since said she has no intetion of going back to work EVER, as she has a bad back, this doesnt stop her playing tennis twice a week!

I'm just worried that when we buy a house together, she will turn round and say she wants more money because of the extra income (ie my hard earned wages)

While I obviously expect him to support his children, I'm more than a bit annoyed to think that she can claim from me just because she is too lazy to get off her backside and get a job.

Is there anyway we can prevent this happening?

  • ariesgirl63
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22 Feb 08 #14731 by ariesgirl63
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I think at 44 she has plenty of time to retrain and get into the workplace. I get quite annoyed at woman who see their ex's as a meal ticket and won't do anything to better themselves once their children reach an age as to be fairly independent. This woman has another 20 years of worklife ahead of her. I think the only way you can challenge this is to ask your solicitor to ask for a fixed period of SM (giving the wife 4 years to retrain is quite generous I think!). If the courts won't do this an make an order for open ended SM then you will have to apply for a variance of SM at some point in the future and hope the Courts look on your application favourably. His ex would then have to justify why she has not done anything to try to maximise her income by finding suitable employment. Good Luck

  • Angel557
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22 Feb 08 #14738 by Angel557
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to be fair to some women i was not allowed to work i had to be fulltime mum, now were are divorced i want a career and have done some of the training which i loved , i was told in court on weds to put any career on hold for a few more yrs because of the 2 kids ok younger 1 is disabled but i'm still not allowed a career but he can and he has offered sm for 2 yrs and took the equity money aswell,

  • Elle
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22 Feb 08 #14744 by Elle
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sami,
These women who want a meal ticket for life are spoilt and lazy....and angers those of us that have struggled through various circumstances. Your offer seems very generous and your desire for a Clean Break understandable.
In my humble opinion....go for Clean Break that will cover CM for kids through education and tell lady muck to take off her tiara and get a job....she is an embarrassment to the independant female.
Elle

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22 Feb 08 #14749 by ariesgirl63
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Angel, I admire women like you who look to try and balance family commitments and training for a career. Looking after a disabled child is especially difficult, I know because I have a 9 year old autistic son. I just get frustrated at those women who, even though their children are teenagers (or even older!) choose to not work because they are lazy and don't want to give up their coffee mornings, trips to the beauty parlour, gym etc. They expect their ex husbands to work their 'proverbials' off whilst making no effort themselves. Sounds like Sami's partner's ex wife is one of those women. And worse still, the present system lets them get away with it. I have worked all my life to support my family and will continue to do so after my divorce for as long as I am fit and able to do so. Those other 'meal ticket' women spoil it for those who have genuine reasons for being unable to work... OK, I'll get off my soapbox now

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22 Feb 08 #14761 by Sami
Reply from Sami
Thank you for all your messages of support.

The main sticking point seems to be her 'bad back'

How she can still be playing tennis is beyond me. We have also discovered,during the course of talking to the children, that she has joined a running club!

Her claim of a 'back problem' is such utter nonsense. My partner is seriously thinking of getting a private detective to take some photos of her and her 'back' on the tennis court and on the running track. Hopefully if presented with such evidence she will have no choice but to withdraw her ridiculous claim.

Sami

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22 Feb 08 #14762 by ariesgirl63
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The majority of the nation suffer with back problems of one sort or another. Is she claiming a disability allowance at all or some form of incapacity benefit? Would she be able to produce a doctor's note to support her claims of being unable to work? Ok there are probably certain jobs out there she would not be expected to do but there a re plenty that she could do. Given the financial implication to your partner if she did secure SM for life then I think your suggestion of hiring a PI may well be worth it.

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