Firstly, sorry if youve read this twice, im very keen to get advice on this matter.
We are currently in mediation trying to thrash out a settlement. Ex2b is adamant that he doesnt want to give me more than 60% of the total proceeds from our house & the few other bits which are of minimal value that we have. (No pensions involved) Trouble is, depending on the actual sale price of the home this may or may not be enough to re house the children & I where we currently live. I would prefer a figure of 65%, but am willing to meet in the middle at 62 1/2%. Ex2b is being stubborn though & refuses to be flexible over the percentage despite the fact that the properties available in this price range are very few & far between, & if we get the worst case scenario figure for the house I would either have to buy a flat or be left with ex council properties on an undesirable estate.
The difference between my figure & his is only around 18k & only 9k on the 62 1/2%. If we end up having to agree terms through solicitors or even court this amount & more would be swallowed up & everyone except the solicitors would end up losers. I would really prefer not to go down that route for the sake of mine & my childrens sanity. Unfortunately ex2b doesnt seem too bothered because he`s on a reasonable wage (around 40k) & can always earn more money, plus little extras on the side. He can also buy a run down wreck of a house & do it up, which I cannot.
I have two proposals im going to bring up in mediation next & I wondered if I could have your thoughts on them, & if he did agree whether it would be legally possible to use them on a Deed of Separation.
First option would be to wait & see how much we get for the house, then ex & I both look at properties available at that current time & see whats realistic & whats not, then get Deed drawn up once we know how much we have to play with. Have already mentioned this to ex2b & he wasnt keen, but will bring it up again in mediation this week if anyone thinks its worth mentioning.
Second option would be that I accept a fixed settlement based on his 60% figure (which is based on the higher end possible selling price of our house) & I also get another 10k which would actually be a loan from the children. I would pay the children back 5k each, plus any interest earned on that money when they finish education or reach 21, whichever is later. I would also keep my own savings account with 2 1/2k in it which would help to cover my stamp duty & removals costs etc. This option would still limit me greatly, but make it much more possible for me to find something.
I am not currently working, & could not hope to obtain a mortgage in my name. My aim would be to find something for 16 hours & claim tax credits once this is all over. Having a mortgage free home would be my safety net.
bases on these figures & possible worst & best case scenario selling prices of our house ex2b could buy himself a 2 bed house with a 60k or less mortgage, or if we achieved what he expects he could buy a house similar to what im hoping to get. (Again with around a 60k mortgage) He would also keep his own savings & insurance policy worth in total around 9k. However, his insurance policy will be worth 10-12k in around 4 years should he keep it going.
I'd like to have a Big Think about this one, but first of all can you tell me how old your children are ?
The other comment I have is that if he earns 40K a year and you earn nothing ( but could go out to work ) then spousal maintenance is a possibility even if for a limited time while you get on your feet.
You are obviously approaching this sensibly and I entirely take your point that there is a danger of your spending more in legal costs etc t han you could expect to recover, but
it is always easy to settle quickly for an inadequate sum.
But first please let me know
1.Length of the marriage
2. Your ages
3. I assume there's no disability involved here
I have to dash but will have a further think about this
when I have this information
Hi Mike, & thanks for replying.
In answer to your questions:
1, Length of marriage is 10 years.
2, Im 35 & he`s 40.
3, Neither of us are disabled, but one of the kids has a special need.
4, Children are 7 & 9.
Can I tell you my initial reaction to what you are telling me.
It is difficult to comment without knowing housing conditions in your area, and I do understand what you are saying about the costs of all this.
So I am going to throw out for you some thoughts of mine, and am sorry if it complicates the issue even further.
1. If you have children, ( I was a bit puzzled about how you get a loan from dependent children ) then you have to realise that the Courts' first priority is to make sure the children have a home.
2. This often results in an order which gives the parent with care ( you ) the right to live in the former marital home until the youngest is 18 and the sale is deferred till then. However this is not set in stone by any means,
and it is just one way of dealing with it. In your case the issue is whether this can be afforded. I'll come back to that later.
3. In your case, if you do sell, I have a gut feeling that a Court would lean towards giving you quite a high proportion of the equity, because your x2b is a high earner with a significant mortgage capability, and your
mortgage capability is obviously restricted or perhaps non-existent. Could well be 65-70% in your case ; but of course, yes I know, that doesn't help if you have to pay out a lot of costs to get it.
4. I think you are entitled to legal aid on the basis of what you say. Now although that doesn't necessarily mean
you have to go to Court, the fact that you have it must strengthen your hand. It could also enable you to get advice as to your position, without having to worry about the cost. I will tell you here , although you may know it. that legal aid is only a loan, but repayment can be postponed till later.
5. Let's look at your income. You get child benefit plus child support at 20% of his net income. I would in any event advise a benefit check with a CAB. One of the things a CAB would ask is whether DLA for your disabled child is a possibility. It might be.
6. But the point is that you are well into spousal maintenance territory here if he earns 40K and you earn nothing. I think you'd get something. I note you talk about going to work, but is that really an option for you
if you have two young children and one is disabled ? You alone know the answer to that one.
If you can work and get tax credits, that clearly raises your income quite a bit ; it is possible to get spousal maintenance while you are ' getting on your feet ' but it
must be a possibility on these figures.
Sorry, I have complicated this for you, I know, but
I think your position is stronger than you believe it is,
and in one sense, as long as you know that you may not be getting a very good deal here then the decision is ultimately yours. Do get legal aid, even if only to get free legal advice. And do see a CAB - that won't cost you anything for a benefit check.