Hi, I know everyone has a different slant on their own divorce and you will probably be repeating yourself a lot but, her is mine anyway.
Married June 1987.
2 sons aged 16 and 13 (the 13 year old is severley disabled and has been living in residential care for the last three years paid for by various agencies - neither of us contributes financially to his upkeep.)
Wife decided she wanted to be 'on her own' and moved out March 2005.
House was worth £180K at the time, we owed £20k on mortgage and £10k for cars leaving us £150k equity.
Bought outright and furnished the house that wife wanted for £110k by remortgaging marital home (this is now solely in my name, the new house in wife's.) Wanted to keep marital home for stability of kids, especially disabled one who visits at weekends.
By my reckoning she got £110k while I got £40k.
I also have a company pension worth £90k and we have endowments of £20k.
Older son spends 4 nights with wife and 4 nights with me (my shift pattern.) I pay her £100/month for him.
She has applied for a divorce (2 year seperation), solicitor asking for all my financial details - assets, income, outgoings.
My net pay is £1,800/month, not sure of her income as she has her own Beauty business (16 hours/week) and claims some benefits, tax credits etc.
I think in your situation the main thing for you to establish is that you have equal responsibility for the kids (the older one 4 nights and the younger one on weekend visits).
The courts place the needs of the kids first and the needs of the Parent With Care (the one who looks after the kids the most) second with the second parent trailing in third.
So be aware of her perhaps trying to spin the story that she is the PWC and you do not see the kids as much - because if she manages to do that it could seriously impact the outcome for you in a negative way.
As long as Shared Residency is accepted then I do not think you have too much to worry about - because then the asset split should be close to 50:50, and you would have to pay some child support.
The other area of contention is likely to be her earning capacity so you need to do some homework/investigation to try and establish her earnings (which in theory she should have to fully declare via the form E). A part time job or business plus all the tax credits and child benefit usually adds up to more than you might think and this would bring her income not too far short of yours preventing any likelihood of her being successful in claiming spousal maintenance on top of child maintenance.