A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Interim finances

  • BigAl
  • BigAl's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
07 Aug 07 #1817 by BigAl
Reply from BigAl
Hi all,

Got to get this one in the open to understand it...

I have received this afternoon my petition (wife is the petitioner) even though I left her. Gogg, I know that you suggested that I petition her, except my lawyer said that it may be the best thing to do because of her need to be in control.

Two things really, the first is that she has got wind that my parents are going to be out of the country for two months, albeit they are not going until late September, she has inferred that I don't need to go an find somewhere else to live, to attempt to start rebuilding my life as my parents house will be free, can she do this?

Secondly, and all my fault of course, I gave her £400 per week (as what I called housekeeping) to buy food, clothes and other ancillary items (she did not work). I do not living in the FMH anymore but arguably I recieved some of this benefit, she is still demanding that she receives all of this money - is there no sense in this process?

You may all blame me for doing this in the first place, but unfortunately that is what I did and has become a large reason for me leaving her.

Any advice to stop her demands would be appreciated.

P.S Fiona already suggested mediation, which I may have to do but does mediation only cover financial discussions, or will she see it as a way to attempt to make me come back in to her life?

Big Al

  • Fiona
  • Fiona's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
07 Aug 07 #1821 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
I don't know that being slow necessarily incurs a lot of extra costs, but pressure and conflict does. After we separated my ex needed about 3 years to get his head around divorce, and being in Scotland citing UB as a reason for divorce wasn't an option because it requires a strong burden of proof. Once he'd adjusted to the emotional realities of the situation the settlement and divorce were quick and costs minimal. I think it was a question of 'more haste, less speed' and had I pressurised him he would have resisted. Then, apart from having to wait 5 years to divorce without his consent, there would have been a lot of resentment and bad feeling. Although 3 years seemed long at the time I saw it as a good investment for future co-operative parenting.

Your wife can infer or demand what she likes, but it's up to you to decide where you live and how much you pay as long as you fulfill your financial committments to your family. Although the law says she has to kept in a lifestyle she's used to the reality for most divorcing couples is running two households means cut backs.

mediation has nothing to do with reconcilliation, it's an attempt to bring about a peaceful settlement or compromise through the objective intervention of a neutral party. Tax credits aren't part of the financal settlement other than they contribute to your wife's living costs and indirectly to her ability to raise a mortgage.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11