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  • RSMITH2000
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08 Aug 07 #1831 by RSMITH2000
Topic started by RSMITH2000
the petitioner is the father of 1.5 years old girl.
the respondent is the mother who lives in the matrimonial with the baby.

the respondent has received the petition at the end of June based on her unreasonable behavior.
she instructed her solicitor to write letters to the petitioner's solicitor that she disagreed the petition and would defend the divorce and cross-petition. (she didn't returned the acknowlgement of service back to court).

the end of the July, the petitioner's solicitor wrote back that to refuse using the conciliation.

after the respondent received this letter, she is very scared that she will lose her money.
(as far as she knows, all assets will divided 50/50. her savings is doubled of her hunsband's. she is not happy about this 50/50 dividing. )
in the meanwhile, she still refused to send the acknowlgement of service.

Questions:
1. if the respondent refuses to send the Form back to the court, what can the petitioner does for this as the case will not procee until the service has been received.

2. is the financial side really like the respondent said: 50/50.

3. both parties are not happy with their solicitors. the petitoner's solicitor made some mistakes when she did the petiton and did not contact the petitioner at all after she received the letters from the respondent's solicitor.
is this because of the solicitor herself or the law.
so far, the law seems doesn't encourge couples to do divorcing. (is my understanding right or not?)

any advice about this case will be apprecitated. thx

rsmith.

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08 Aug 07 #1834 by Fiona
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08 Aug 07 #1835 by RSMITH2000
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thx for ur comment.

the respondent and the petition have 9 years marriage. when they bought the house together, the official owner is the petitioner(Husband). but they have shared everything at 50/50, such as mortgage,household expenditure, childcare etc.

the petitioner moved out their house few months ago but he visits the respondent and the baby very often.

the truth about the acknowledge of service is:
both parties solicitors have letters to each other. and the petitoner asked his solicitor to use the court bailiff to send the petition again. his solicitor refused to do so becasue she thinks it's uselss.
from the end of June till now, court didn't do anything about this case. so it looks like hopefuless to expect the court will do something about it.
and the respondent still refused to send it back.

question:

how long can the respondent keep doing this?

thx

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10 Aug 07 #1879 by Sera
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The poor woman's just had a baby! I never cast judgement, except to say that after having a baby, it can be a very un-settling time within any relationship, especially if a husband feels (sexually) ignored.

Just curious, after nine years with her, assuming they planned this pregnancy, my guess is the first seven years must've been OK? What are the reasons for behaviour?

Maybe she doesn't want a divorce. It's hard work going it alone. Is divorce his first option?

Babies can blow a lot of couples apart, sleep deprevation etc. I'm just curios... or maybe I'm just too damn nosey.

I think this couple should continue with their 'seperation', get some counsilling, and he continue his visits, for the welfare of the young child.

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18 Aug 07 #2136 by RSMITH2000
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people are doing this divorcing even the Prince Charles and princess Anne.

if you are not happy with ur partner, if she or he look down on you and your friends, parents all the time, how long can you take this. if she or he only care about her or himself all the time, how long can you take this?
if you don't have a couple life with her or him, how long can you take this?

it's very difficult to judge who is right or wrong about the problems of couple life. people normally blame the other parites' unreasonable behaviors. in my view, they should do the self-criticizing before they say sth about it.

To Sera:
Thx for you reply. the woman is not poor but the bb. the wife knew her husband wanted to divorce her ages ago. he didn't take this action before because he has belief that she probably can change later. but she didn't. the husband wanted to talk about their problems and wanted to see the counsillor ages ago, but the wife refused to do so. just think. if the husband can take his wife's behavior, why he wants to do the divorce after he has the bb?


the UK family is too restricted. that's why people don't want a marriage. that's why the govenment has to set another law to accept the rights of the partnership.



did anyone know how long the respondent can held the ackonwledge of service?

thx

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18 Aug 07 #2138 by Sera
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Hello RSmith,

Boy ! Do you sound bitter!!!

Firstly, I'd also like to know the answer to your question: how long can a respondent hold out for?

I'm also not intending to be shunted for the 'convenience' of my husband changing his mind on our marriage! And I don't blame this wife, with a young baby for not wishing to divorce either!

This husbands character you cite (is it you?, you don't say? you speak from a third person perspective). Well, this husband sounds like he could be a controlling, manipulative, bullying man, and when he doesn't get his own way, he decided to punish his wife by threatening divorce. In terms of 'how long can you take this' (animosity from friends and family), well that'll be her call I'm afraid. She does have the right not to go through a very bitter, painful divorce for FIVE years if she wants to!
Having a baby, is right up there on the major life changes league tables. For well-being, a person can usually only cope with one major life change every five years, that includes, birth, death, and divorce! So, if she has just had a baby, and is trying to cope with all of that alone, then the divorce may not be high on her list of priorities right now!

What behaviour grounds are you/he citing? And what 'changes' did this husband expect from this wife?

You also need to forget about judging, who is right, and who is wrong. It doesn't work that way. You are not punished for being right or wrong. A court will look at needs, once a couple has agreed that divorce is the last option.

This person doesn't show signs of wanting to save his marriage! Just save his money!

In your first post, you asked would the split be 50/50. Probably not in this case, there are no 'rules'. The wife will probably get a much bigger lump sum, because she has the child, her housing needs etc will be looked at. If you wish to post further details, I'm sure someone else will be along to do the maths!

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18 Aug 07 #2157 by RSMITH2000
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thx for ur reply.

well, it's hard to answer that question becasue the law doesn't want couple to do this.

and sorry i gave u this impression that the husband is the "king" of this family. actually it's NOT. in this family the wife has the full power to decide everything. she gave her order to ask him to follow.
when the husband wants to do sth with his wife, the answer he got from her is always " NO, i am not interested in that; I don't want to do that." their marriage is 9 years and the holiday for them to take together is 2. wife has the full confidence that she can control her husband quite well.

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