Settlement, 50-50 ?

Nice post Dockley


"I don't think people will choose legal aid unless they have to" my tea was coming through my nose after reading that.

Mike,
Thanks for the advice.
My kids are boys 8, 8 & 5. I did consider a Mesher, but with at least 13yrs til the youngest finishes school and my wife needing £250k+ it was too much for me (at 4%pa free rent + CM + SM this was over 50% of my income and I'd get the money after I'd retired (plus complications of CGT vs tax relief I could get by putting it in a pension).
I did offer an Interim solution until the elder 2 left junior school (the senior schools here are c**p) but my wife wasn't interested.
My sol says a Mesher is not appropriate, but my wife's has told her it's possible.
As my wife has refused mediation and an independent barrister's opinion, it looks as if I'm heading on that expensive road to court.
Thanks for reading,
Ian

Fiona wrote:

It's stereotypical to suppose "most" men get a raw deal in divorce and are shafted by greedy, vindictive wives. No one actually knows the outcomes of divorce settlements because there aren't records kept.

Fiona at some stage your going to have to swallow your pride & just accept that you are wrong, hopefully when you lift your head up from your own ar** you will realise that you don't have to rely on records & statistics to back up this quote.

Perhaps this sounds better "Most women get a good deal in divorce, they deserve it because most men are ar**holes".

Surely people that can afford top notch lawyers would not be wasting their time posting questions on this site???? Surely they would be off to Harvey Nicks for a spot of shopping, then to Harley Street for a spot of botox and then to ???? Street and pop into their lawyers plush offices for their £250 an hour+ legal advice.

Well if people (usually the PWC/Wife) are forced to have Legal Aid and are scraping the barrell at the bottom end of the law market, well dont they do well (as Brucie says)

They (usually the PWC/Wife) often come out of it with the FMH most assets and possibly SM to boot, and if they could possibly manage it, the shirt of the (usually non PWC/Husband)'s back!!

One thing I do believe is that not ONE post on here has been from someone "waiting" to get Legal Aid (although do I need a statistic to back this up??)

I dont need statitistics, I gain my own experience from life and know plenty of divorced people of both gender to realise who "usually" financially gains the most in divorce. I have a very wide social and work circle but of course I dont have clients or solicitor friends to provide me with any additional data.

If we were to have a "mini ballot" of how many (usually PWC/wife's) came out of the divorce with the better financial deal (lets leave he emotional side out of it), and how many men flee the country/ go bankrupt etc etc, I know what my money would be on. But then of course I would state that as I only have a stereo typical male view and nothing else!!

Oh and still no one has got back to me about the statistics of non paying dads being husbands as oppose to non paying dads being short term/casual boyfriends. (this was on a previous post)

I would also point out that the withdrawing of financial support by the non PWC (usually the Husband) is more often than not as a result of the PWC (usually the wife) withdrawing freely available contact with the child(ren). Of course this can happen the other way round, the (usually non PWC/husband) withdrawing it first, then child contact withdrawal follows.

And finally Jay, I like your thinking

I'm not getting into the argument, I'm the exception to all your generalisations.

I'm female NRP. Wonder where I fit!

I did ok in financial deal 60:40 to him and he probably thinks I fleeced him. Originally he wanted 80% of my monthly income, all FMH and kids to stay with him. It didnt work that way but really the only important thing now is the kids and where they will be happy. I hope that will be a few more days with me but if he doesnt like it what can I do.

I dont seem to fit into any camp on here! Think I'll sit on the fence.

Tinny Tinny, dont feel you have to sit on the fence, it can be quite boring and you still might get splinters!

I also I am the exception to what you state as the "generalisation", I am the PWC and I am male, so for arguments sake, my ex is in effect you!!

However there are massive differences between you and my ex, I have read your blogs and know how much you want to see and have a relationship with your kids, my ex however chooses to "pass" on that.

I like the sound of 60/40, it sits so much better than 90/10 or 100% does.

Believe me, I would jump at a 60/40 in HER favour, however that is and never has been on the cards, which is why UNECCESSARY court date is still looming!!!