Settlement, 50-50 ?

Ignoring the pensions..which you would expect to be bigger for the H in that case you do have to look at the whole s 25 criteria

If say H earns £4oK and W £28K in 10 years he will earn £120K more than her and if pensions are the same (unlikely) the differential will get bigger

Added to that H has a greater ability to raise more money OR pay off mortgage quicker as a result or he could pay the net differential say £70K into his pension which may double in 7 years

In that scenario he could be say £150K better off in 10 years

So Tricky you can see how a "balancing act" has to be struck -Picking one feature of s 25 MCA factors to "suit" one's case is human but not always satisfies "the touchstone of fairness test".

Hi attilla
We're separated and split the assests H 100 W 300. I do 4 days plus most of the holidays, she does 3 with the kids. She has a new partner - reason for separation. She is now asking me to pay for all other costs associated with the children. Is this fair, she is short of money because she has bought a holiday home for the weekends. Any opinions?

I am quite shocked by the 'tit for tat' going on on the site re this topic, maybe mail is not the most obvious forum for humour as it may be misinterpreted as sniping in this case.

I for one worked tirelessly throughout my marriage and currently earn 31K to my H 55K, my salary would have been considerably had we not made a joint decision for me to take a back seat to allow my husband to 'fly' with his career, we felt the family would suffer if we both had high flying, well paid careers. My husband left me last year for a younger, no ties version, and now had the cheek to say that this is not a spousal matinenance case. I would argue that for my family I lost a good few years on the career ladder, and my resume is now nothing like as strong as it once was. I also suffered extreme anxiety from trying to manage a high paid and responsible job and virtually single handedly raising our daughter.

I am off to my interim maintenance hearing now so after that I will let you know whether as you seem to think us money grabbing women always get what we want and see pound signs before our eyes. All I want is a fair and reasonable settlement and enough money to care for daughter within a decent (not extravagant home and area)

Each case is so different I think it is unwise to comment and if we all know emotions run high at this time in our life, why single out one person to send a sarcastic remark to?

Just my thoughts

Emalou

Hi Emalou
I sympathise with your situation. I too worked to save our marriage. My wife retrained while bring up our 2 children and I played a very large role in all child care including a role in her older 2 children's lives, with whom I have remained on very close terms and still support financially - they're now in their 20's - when necessary.

My wife met and had an affair with an older man, with whoom she now lives. I do the majority of the child care in a shared arrangement. My wife and new partner probably have a higher joint income than I do, took 65:35 of the assets and she is now refusing to make any contributions towards the children's clubs and musical tuition costs. Am I being naiive to expect this?

Hi Emalou
I sympathise with your situation. I too worked to save our marriage. My wife retrained while bring up our 2 children and I played a very large role in all child care including a role in her older 2 children's lives, with whom I have remained on very close terms and still support financially - they're now in their 20's - when necessary.

My wife met and had an affair with an older man, with whoom she now lives. I do the majority of the child care in a shared arrangement. My wife and new partner probably have a higher joint income than I do, took 65:35 of the assets and she is now refusing to make any contributions towards the children's clubs and musical tuition costs. Am I being naiive to expect this?

Even if my ex had 50 million and i had £50 i would do it for my kids pay for what they needed after all it's not the kids fault they are the innocent party in this , noone would begrudge paying for things should you both still be together , some kids are luckier than others my 2 don't even see their father any more through his choice and he pays child support as and when he feels like it, so my poor kids have suffered and will continue to suffer.think of the kids not point scoring against the ex.