Hi
I have been in a similar situation very recently. My husband maxed out our joint account and left me with 5 children to care for on £266 family allowance as my child tax credit had to be cancelled to make a new single claim. I was forced to go to the bank and put a freeze on the account.
You don't say whether you are working or not - if not then you need to go to your jobcentre plus or phone them & explain your situation and they will give you a phone number to call to see if you are entitled to any benefits eg Income Support. You need to make sure your Child Tax Credit is up to date as the children's income support is now paid through this and is not effected by
child maintenance payments.
I know it is time consuming but get onto all the companies that you have direct debits with and transfer them to your sole account. Make sure all your benefits, child tax credit & child benefit are being paid into your sole account aswell. (Luckily I have always had a separate account for this money to be paid into).
You also need to check whether you are entitled to Council Tax Benefit!
If you really are strapped for cash you can approach Jobcentre Plus for a crisis loan I think it's called which you have to pay back but does not have interest added on & I think anyone whether on benefits or not can have one.
Hopefully your solicitor will be able to advise you where you stand legally, but I believe you are jointly liable for the overdraft on the joint account - he took the money but I am jointly liable and like you say the account can't be closed until the overdraft is paid off - this will be looked at in the financial settlement with the solicitor.
Make sure you contact your mortgage company to put them in the picture- you could also look at making it an inteerest only mortgage for a while to make the payments less ( I think).
Have your bank statements for as far back as possible to take to your solicitor so they can see what has happened.
As suggested write everything down; from phone calls transferring direct debits, conversations with benefit offices, your ex etc. Do it as it happens otherwise things can get distorted.
From now on in you have to have no trust with regards finance unless it is written down and agreed through solicitors as talking money brings out the worst in people.
I have been married nearly 11 years and money is one of the things that has brought my marriage to an end.
Another thing that might be worthwhile is to get a credit rating on you & your husband if possible, through experian or equifax for example to see whether he has got any loans etc that you are not aware of (this may not be the case, but I have been there!)
I hope I have helped and I am quite happy for you to send me a private message to discuss this further if wanted.
I'm sure you passed a message to me not long ago wishing me luck, ditto.