Hi can anybody enlighten me this one please? When I file for divorce I shall put the reason as adultery. Should I name the woman? What are the pros and cons of this?
The way I feel at the moment I should dearly love to name and shame!
Would it be better not to mention adultery at all?
Is it best to sort the finacial stuff out before filing for divorce? I have suggested mediation on this and he has agreed. If that goes OK, I'm not sure we would need solicitors involved at all.
Any advice on my musings would be really appreciated.
Well, I wouldn't. I don't think it matters legally and it could hurt more people.
As I understand it from your blog, the woman your husband's been involved with has a partner that she's serious about and moving in with. Now I'm sure that you would love to mess it up for her, but think about her partner. He is presumably completely innocent in this. If you name her then legal papers will go to their address. That would be very awful for her, and you might feel that it's a fair revenge, but it would be devastating for him. If he's going to discover his partner's been unfaithful, that is really not the way for it to happen. And if it was just the one night and she is committing to her main relationship, then maybe it's better if he never finds out at all.
Ok thanks Sadie, her boyfriend does know now - apparently she has told him, or he read an email he sent her or something like that. The way I see it is loads of this was before she met her new bloke.
I probably wont name and shame to be honest, but I just wanted to know what the difference is really
Hi Flo. You dont have to name the other party now. I was told by my brief that most clients use the unreasnable behavour reason rather than infidelity becuase it is less inflamtry.
Personaly I would name and shame becuase people that do this are no good. She must have known what your bloke's situation was and someone that does this ought to be exposed. Her partner should also know what he's dealing with.
To my mind people that cheat are scum. They wreck peoples lives and cuase so much damage becuase they wanted a shag or whatever. Sorry to be hard but I feel strongly about cheating.
It's interesting that the legal people think that unreasonable behaviour is less inflamatory than adultery. If you've committed adultery, then what's the problem about having it on the divorce papers? You did it, probably you've admitted it; it's out in the open and is something that happens when relationships are breaking down. Unreasonable behaviour seems to me to be much more of a personal attack.
Hi Sadie. My ex commited adultary. If I divorced her I would have named and shamed. But as it turned out she is legaly aided and she divorced me. I would not admit to adultary becuase I had not commited that offence. So we settled for UB. All the reasons are made up. They are totaly opposite of what I am and what I did. In fact I made the reasons up for her and wrote that portion of the pettion. It apealed to my black humor that I should write my own divorce that would be served against me. In my twisted mind I found it amusing
I could not wait 2 years to be rid of her. I want it over and as quickly as possible and just want an end to the worst time of my life. You get less for killing somone.
As I had not commited adultary I would have gone balistic if I had been accused of adultary. I would certainly have crossed pettioned and defended myself. Sod the expense.
But as it happens I am happy with the UB as I wrote it and its all opposites. But hey I am weird. Chris.
It is possible to allege adultery with a person whom the petitioner does not wish to name. This may make the respondent more willing to admit the adultery to ' protect ' his/her new paramour. This course of action is recommended by Resolution in cases where the petition is not likely to be defended.