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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

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Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

my ex will not agree to settlement

  • divwiki
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03 Sep 07 #2796 by divwiki
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Hi Gwen,

you sound more deserving than my wife so I'll tell you what her solicitor is up to in case yours has missed a few tricks.

He has applied for Maintenance Pending Suit and also will be applying to the court for me to pay costs even though she is the petitioner. This is on the grounds of me having savings which I have never hidden, but my income is half of hers!

Have you told your brief about his plans to shift and spend money? AS Chris said, the courts don't like this behaviour and it could be grounds for a late application for costs etc.

  • Gwenmoon
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03 Sep 07 #2808 by Gwenmoon
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Thanks Julie and all of you that have replied for the sharing and the advise it has given me a different perspective on things . I can only try again to reach a settlement before he burns all the money away. But if i was to tell you all what i have gone through i am sure you would all understand why i am so determined to get this sorted.

When i left him the boys chose to stay with him. I had to find somewhere to live and i spent weeks looking, sleeping on friends sofas etc . Also trying to hold up a full time job. I went to the bank to get my own bank account but before i could stop my monthly wages going into the bank he took them leaving me with nothing yet again. I had just got a place and lost it because i had no deposit now. I was also at college my mum and dad gave me some money to help me out but they where only pensioners and didn't have much, but they helped all they could. While at college i met someone and after a couple of months he got a place and asked me to share. In the mean time I got a place of my own and the boys came to stay .My ex was working full time in a good job he earned 4 times more than me but he reported me to the CSA for my youngest who at the time was 15. They sent the paper work to where i was working at the time and it was opened and left on my desk for everyone to read I have never been so embarrassed in my life. What annoyed me was that i was paying money to the boys every weekend when i saw them , but my ex chose to ignore this . The CSA saw what little i was on and asked me to pay £6 a month which was far less than i had been giving to the boys at weekends . Then he tried to poison them against me and stopped them coming up to my place,he told them if they saw me he would throw them out , so my eldest left and came to live with me . ( My ex was divorce before and i had brought up his children from his previous marriage with no help from his first wife what so ever. His youngest caused us no end of problems and had tried several time to throw me down the stairs when i was pregnant with my eldest she was a drug addict and cause myself and my ex 16 years of hell. ) Later i was still continuing to see the guy i had met at college and we are still together and we have a daughter . But when my ex found out he tried to cause trouble yet again the usual thing taxis to the house ,reporting me to police saying i was handing stolen goods none of which was true and going around telling everyone that my daughter was his and not my new partners this went on for months and i was forced to move away to get away from him as he was threatening me all time . he won't get our joint bank account out of the red so i can't take my name off it and he has left me with loads of debt which i am paying off slowly , but to top it all i had an accident and for the last 3 months and the foreseeable future i cannot return to work. All i want for myself and my kids is an end to the matter and can't understand why he won't agree to anything . i asked for 45% of the house and pension it might look like i am being a cow going after his pension but he lost me most of mine he was married before as i explain and when the boys where born he never had the child benefit put into my name i didn't know until the split and i have lost half my state pension because of it . But he won't agree so then i asked for 40 % of both but he won't still agree and we have hit a brick wall again. i have forward another proposal but as i explain previously its cost me a fortune and i see no end as my ex is stubborn and unreasonable i will keep you all posted when i get a reply , thanks again for your advise .

Gwen B)

  • jan12
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03 Sep 07 #2810 by jan12
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Hi Chris and Tinny.

Thanks for your replies, I'm really sorry to hear that you are both going through the same situation with children. It really is the most horrible part of all this and something I never thought would happen. People say to me too that they come back back eventually and I really can only hope that will happen.


  • herewegoagain
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03 Sep 07 #2814 by herewegoagain
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My man's stbx wife has not agreed to the settlement, she left for the second time in 3 years in Jan 2007 and is divorcing him for UB, it has cost him £3000 at least in solicitors fees. Now MH sold end of August. He has gone back to her rented home which he pays for, she doesn't work, to try and make it work. His kids and family and employees all hate her, they love me! But he has gone back to try and resolve his marriage. I wish she would accept and leave us alone, but everyone feels this was her plan from the outset. Anyone know how to get rid? She has a boyfriend too! The woman is evil! We all have to have patience and hope he will see through the scheming.

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