attended mediation

hi all. finally attended meditation on thur 3 yrs later,i was really stressed out and sh**ing it,well i waited 3 years to listen to some crap that come out of my exs mouth,he not contributed anythin in last 3 yrs,cause he could not afford it,,but hey now he thinks he might be able to,,the law is crap.He now gone away to think about it our next app is in 3 weeks,So if he does, my life for next 12 yrs is tied with him, i cant sell,cohabit or re marry..not like i want 2 ever again,lol. he got me by the barrel its the same even if he dont contribute,but just takes his perc in 12 yrs im tied. i acn not afford to pay him off,its a joke. H e was that close to me in the room i want to turn round and smack him there and then,but hey i was good and kept my cool, there must be some other way instead of bein tied for 12 yrs til my youngest is of age.

Hi Shazz. I was faced with you will get your money in X amount of years once. I think it was 7 years. But I didnt trust her. Her and the fat coach driver would have found a way to diddle me out of it. Its tough and there is only so much money to go around after a divorce.

I was asked to go to mediation and I declined. I could not sit in the same room as her as I would have topped her.

What I cant understand is why people fight it. Its going to happen anyway. Best to put up and get out of it. You have got this hanging round your neck for 12 years. Thats a very long time to be tied to someone. Chris

hi chris yes its a very long time 12yrs to be tied to him,thats the law for u,and they give him the right to go away and think about it,the lady also asked me to go away and see if i can get a better deal on my mortgage,,only been askin him 4 3yrs to do this,could not cause his name was on it and he would not sign,she also told me to look at interset only cause it would be lot cheaper and he could contribute.He had big smile to sayin its in his interest now to contribute half,,yes cause he not entitled to half if he dont. 42 grand mortgage and the house is worth 140 grand now,so in 12yrs time if he pays half now,he gets a wedge,not stupid hey.i been payin the lot last 3yrs and she told me i was entitled to half back of what i paid , where is the justice in that,i have paid 11 grand i want it all back, tell u what they are all just 1 big joke,i cant see a way out its killing me.

my youngest is only 1 and I will be tied to him for another 17 years if I can't get out of it. He doesn't want what little share of the equity there is at the moment, he wants to wait so he can have 50% of nearly the whole lot as the mortgsge will only have 2 years left by then! Like you say I won't be able to do anything without his say so and he's making everything hard now & he has controlled me throughout the marriage this is just another way of keeping control. He is not good with money and I want the house in my name so I know I am in charge of mine & the children's future. Will be keeping a close eye on this post as this along with contact is the biggest bug bear! Hope you manage to sort something out - it's worth a try. I take it he hasn't got a pension that you can bargain with! This is my hope but the bank has still got to agree to me taking on the mortgage on benefits & maintenance alone. Good Luck.

Hi Shazza and all, don't forget that mediation is a voluntary process. Check with your solicitor whether you have signed up to any legally binding agreements, 'cos frankly I don't think you have it's just that the court will draw an inference from any agreements you've made and stuck to whilst both circumstances are the same. Check with your brief though.

Well done for having the strength to attend mediation, I hope our collective suggestions helped, it sounds like you handled it really well.