'Guiding' X2B ???

My x2b called me today - he was 'concerned' about paying the mortgage (he left 7 weeks ago, wiping out our finances)......
I told him he could contact any branch of the building society - explain the situation ..(they have computers - d'oh - it's not rocket science)... and I 'was sure' they would be able to assist him - did I say the right thing????

Several questions!

Is it a joint mortgage, is your name on the mortgage?

If yes then you are liable as much as he is even if he was the one that usually paid it (if you are a housewife for example). If this is the case then you need to contact them and advise them of the situation.

If your name is not on the mortgage then you should still advise them if you have the details but you would probably have to do this in writing if it is not your account.

If your name is not on the mortgage then you need to check whether your name is on the deeds, if not you need to speak to your solicitor and get advise on registering your interest in the property.

Remember if he doesn't pay the mortgage it may cause problems because unless they are forewarned banks don't look favourably on missed payments and may not help your case later on.

You don't say whether you have children but if you have you need to protect the roof over their head in the interim whilst the house & finances are sorted out.

Hope this has helped. (remember this is only personal knowledge that I have picked up since the start of my divorce so you may wish to seek clarification)

Hi

You don't mention the nature of his concern. Is he wanting to pay it? Does he think you should pay it? Would helpful to give more information.

Don't think what you said to him was wrong. Contacting the building society has to happen sooner or later.

Hope all is well with you otherwise.

All the best

Shelia

Hi...
Thankyou both for your comments.....
If I Knew Then.... the house/mortgage is in x2b's sole name - the building society won't discuss it with me.... I paid the mortgage last month, so no arrears... I have registered a matrimonial home rights already...
Sheila... yes, he 'wanted to pay the mortgage'.... I was just wondering really if I had done the right thing by 'guiding' him... or should I have just left him to figure it out for himself... still, I suppose I shouldn't 'be petty'.... but it's sorely tempting!

Kindest regards to you both
Karen

Hi, Karen

You didn't say whether you have children - obviously things are more pressing if you do!

Did you get some documentation that you paid the mortgage last month? If not I would try to obtain some. You say it is in his sole name, if you have the details of the mortgage eg address of company, account number etc. I would still write to them making them aware of the situation and ask for acknowledgement of your letter. They won't discuss the mortgage with you but at least they have documnetation from you making them aware. Also explain that you made last month's payment (again more documentation).

If you make any further payments make sure you have documentation to prove this eg a bank statement or receipt slip or something. If you haven't done so already I would start collecting all your relevant paperwork and filing it in a ringbinder so that you have it all to hand. It is amazing how quickly it accumilates.

You don't say what is happening to the rest of the finances in the interim eg gas, electric, water rates etc. Are you paying these?

Hope I have given you somethings to think about - I have only just done things like this so I know how daunting it can be. It is worth trying to sort things like benefits & bills asap so you know where you stand at least in the interim period.

Regards, Sarah

Hi Sarah...
We have one daughter... but she's 22... and heartbroken I might add, as her dad hasn't contacted her once since he left seven weeks ago (Does This Man Have NO Conscience!!!!)
I will contact the building society again, to 'make them aware' of the situation, and to try to get 'receipt' for the mortgage payment I made last month.
As far as the other finances are concerned.... I am just paying everything... I have asked for extra hours at work, as I haven't had any money from x2b since he left, taking all our money, I paid the gas & electricity bill, the council tax...I cancelled the sky subscription...
I can't do this long term, as I don't earn that much money.... and although my solicitor said she had applied for 'maintenance pending suit'.... firstly, I don't know whether it will be awarded, although she said I have a good chance, considering the vast difference in our salaries...and, secondly..... it all just takes SUCH a long time...

Kindest Regards
Karen

Hi Karen

Obviously I don't kmow what you earn but if it is quite low you may be entitled to Working Tax Credit - it's worth a try. The number is 0845 3003900. I presume this is the same in Scotland.

They say it hits the older(grown up) children as hard as younger ones. Just try to stay neutral when talking about him & let her make her own mind up about him.

Regards
Sarah