Thanks for all of your kind words.
Yes it is true that not everyone gets shafted , i thought i would but i decided what i wanted and stuck to the facts to support my position and my case.
I think its important to be realistic in what you want or need from a settlement , sometimes people let their emotions rule what they want because they want to hurt or make you pay , my wife tried to do this to me and i believe that was her down fall.
As i said i am here to help by sharing my experiences , so if any one needs my help im always around.
One last thing i forgot to mention in my first post , and that is what a wonderful person louise 11 is , with out her support i would have quit ages ago and still have huge debts and be very down.
I agree rob Louise is a truly wonderful lady however she can't get onto wikivorce at the moment through a technical fault so she is sorely missed by a lot of people on here of that I am sure.
I am OBE's partner and I truly wished he would self rep but I fear it is too late now as his FH is next week. He is a kindly soul and I know he could win through just on his own personality and kindly nature if he could speak up for himself in court which I don't think he will be able to do with a Barrister in tow! I am so worried that I cannot be there with him on the day and that although we have met his Barrister and he does seem good that maybe he won't or cannot say all the things OBE will need him to say to help win him something out of all this mess. Louise has told me he will get something but our devastation will be if it turns out he walks away with just his pension because that is what his wife has been asking him to do from the beginning.
The pension isn't worth the paper it is written on and works out to around £50 per month and we are really worried how we will live off this should the worst happen and he can no longer work. Course, the devastation will be that it will have cost him £6k to end up with what she offered 18 months ago. It is such a worrying time and I for one will be glad when we can draw a line under it and hope that it is an experience we never have to go through again.
Luckily I wasn't married to my partner and although it is not an easy task sorting out my problems at least we are dealing with it together and it doesn't involve the legal beagles that want to get involved with co-habitors now because they have realised they are missing extra fees!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well Done, delighted with your outcome and good luck with the access hearing. The judge probably thought you were crazy to give away 82% of the value of the house
Your preparation was excellent - well done.
Evergreen - would suggest you place a different posting, but interested in the outcome. Logically the children are getting support and any other support from you or your wife should be direct to them. Unfortunatley until they are finished 3rd level education, your wife get the dosh !! My dp is fighting just this right now, and he failed, his wife was awarded arrears and child maint for a 20 yr old who got a living away maintenance grant, college fees paid and had a part time job earning about 10K a yr, the grant is over 3K, so the 20 yr old has income of over 13K and the mother still get child maintenance.
I am sure that you will be fine in court , 1 thing i learnt very quickly from my day in court is that the judge is human , the only real contact we have and perceptions of judges is from television , mine was a different world to that.
Its not in their intrest to be unfair or unjust to one side more than the other , 1 thing is for sure that will help you and that is to make sure your partners barrister is on the same wavelength as your partner i.e. make sure they know what they are going to ask each other and know what to reply , this will be crucial to your case.
I feared the worse in my case , louise told me that its daunting to start with but you soon get the jist and shes right ! the time flew and i wasnt sitting their with a confused or dazed empty look on my face thank god lol.
Your partner will be fine if he wants to chat to me or phone then just send me a message and i will give him my experience and try to answer questions if i can.
Good luck keep in touch
Would you be prepared to give me a little advice on what preparation you did, and what if any advice you sought prior to representing yourself. I've my FH in Jan and financially, I'm spent so am now considering doing it myself.
Great, this gives me hope, I was going to be in court on the 27 Dec. my wife cancelled the date because she said she was now going on an expensive ski holiday after getting back from tenerife at half term. something tells me I am being a little too generous!!!