fair settlement?

hi all,

first post - wife and i are divorcing after 17 years of marriage. The marage has just broken down over time, and instead of the constant arguing etc, we want to split for the sake of our kids and our sanity (wife needs to 'find' herself, and only wants to live as friends)

i am self employed, with very good earnings potential (when the work is available), and we have a big house which we will be selling. I have been trying to agree to the finances each will have, coming up with a settlement that seems to be fair to both.

After selling the house and settling debts etc, we will have about £430k of money, i have said that i will take only £122k, leaving her with over 300k to buy a new house with.

for finances i have agreed to give her £1000 per month - to cover the kids etc

does what i am suggesting seem fair? - after all my outgoings (i get to keep the 250k mortgage!) i will have around £300 per month.

We have also agreed on the amount that i will see my kids - i am a very hands on dad, and want them every other weekend (collect on friday and take to school on monday) and split all other holidays 50/50

its really a case now of taking the next step - can we just document up the settlement we have come to and get the court to rubber stamp it - or do i need to be ripped off by solicitors?

My wife seems to be living in cloud cookoo land - not wanting to get a job over 16 hours etc, and still maintaining the same standard of living she has had

Hi Peterc

My ex2b and I are going to mediation to agree finances, it will take approx 5 sessions which will cost £700, I qualify for legal aid because of low income and they do not take into account equity in house unlike solicitors. When we have reached agreement re finances we then each see a solicitor and they make it all legal.

At mediation you can also agree contact with children and what will happen on birthdays, xmas, holidays etc

Good luck

ouch £700 on mediation!!!! OMG - i was hoping to not spend anywhere near that! - we are both in agreement with finances and access - does my x2b need to apply for a financial order to make it legal?

After 2 year separation, i want to divorce her, but want all settled out first

Hi

I'm no expert but believe that if you want to make it all legal you will have to see a solicitor. At around £200 an hour not cheap either!