House contents - part of family home?

I am moving out to unfurnished rental as it is destroying me to stay in FMH and affecting kids. Financially not a good idea, but affecting work etc and can't hang in there as others advise.

Having found somewhere, I need to furnish it and set up. Clearly everything I have is in family home which she is staying in with our two kids. She would need a lot of financial help to support her at least until her lone parent child tax and working tax credits come in.

She views the contents as part of the family home and so I have no right to take them and can't/shouldn't take anything away. As most things individually will be less than £500 they wont appear in financial forms etc, but I need something to sit on etc, keep clothes in.

Is it unreasonable to expect to take a few items?

Hi Canary. I would have thought it was reasonable. Depends on what you want etc. I never took anything. I would not have becuase everything in that house was tainted. But I was given a few things. A lampstand and 2 pictures. I got rid as soon as I could and all I have now is mine. It means something to me. I am funny like that.

I had nothing to sit on when I moved in. Took me a while to get a setee and chairs. I bought a camping chair and I had a cardboard box for a table. Worked very well. I had my ready bed (camping bed).

You dont actualy need much to be honest and most friends have old stuff kicking around that can be donated to start you off. If you get your own stuff it will be yours. That mattered to me thats why I spent everything I had for 6 months buying stuff for my home. No one can take it away from me. Thats important to me. Chris.

You have the right Canary to take what are your personal items but things used jointly are debatable. Here I think possession is 9/10s of the law and if there are items she could get by with out then go for it.

Canary

I tend to agree with the last comment to try and come away with at least something.

I would suggest to your ex, that you will obviously leave all possessions connected to the children, however of the remaining items you will need some of them.

For example, you take the stereo, she gets the microwave, you take the tv, she gets the washing machine that kind of thing.

I think she is being unreasonable to not expect that you would like at least something to set up a new home, (a duvet & pillows at least!)

I was unfortunate that when I returned from work one day my ex had taken the entire contents of the home bar the childrens items. The sad thing about it was, he was staying with family so put most of the items into storage rather than let me use them.

I did not get the return of anything and did not want to notch up legal fees arguing over it but I did eventually get back on track and bought new.

Good Luck with it

Mrs.Bobbitt wrote:

Canary

I tend to agree with the last comment to try and come away with at least something.

I would suggest to your ex, that you will obviously leave all possessions connected to the children, however of the remaining items you will need some of them.

For example, you take the stereo, she gets the microwave, you take the tv, she gets the washing machine that kind of thing.

I think she is being unreasonable to not expect that you would like at least something to set up a new home, (a duvet & pillows at least!)

I was unfortunate that when I returned from work one day my ex had taken the entire contents of the home bar the childrens items. The sad thing about it was, he was staying with family so put most of the items into storage rather than let me use them.

I did not get the return of anything and did not want to notch up legal fees arguing over it but I did eventually get back on track and bought new.

Good Luck with it

You say about washing machines, TV's and things like this but she can say "I need these for the children". The kids watch the TV. I need the washing machine for the kids clothes. I need the sterio so that the kids can listen to the top 40 on a sunday. The computer is needed for the kids homework. And so on.

To be honest you cant win on this one. What is a much better idea and one that I am going to persue if I can is say "right, the house contents is worth £xx,000 pounds I want half of it" That way she gets to keep all her natty leoperd print furnishings and you get a wad. That the thory anyway. Practice is another and my ex is as slippery as an eel when she wants to be. I doubt if I will get anything. Chris.

Chris,

I know she "could" say those things and she probably will, it was just a suggestion that Canary could put forward to her so she may realise he needs something to start again, espcially if the kids are coming to his new rented place for overnighters.

For all we know, they could have 10 tv's and 5 stereos's so could each get something, without the other being left with nothing.

I would say that she is even less likely to hand over cash in lieu of said items, however he could propose both our suggestions to her and he may then come away with some items.

If she was going to be reasonable of course!!


Good luck again canary

My solicitor said that if there were two of something (like two televisions) then it would be reasonable for my husband to take them from the family home. Not if there is only one of something, though.

The real issue may be how the children feel. My children get really anxious about the thought of anything going from the family home at all. I have to remind them that it is only fair to let their dad have something to set up home with.

Sadie